And The Zookeeper Is Very Fond of Dumb

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12 Responses

  1. Andrew says:

    I'm not surprised that some people are stupid enough to think that such obvious satire is real.

    I'm mildly surprised that the Wildlife Center is so think-skinned that it sued.

    I'm stunned that a judge actually forced the site to take the story down. (Naïve of me, I know.)

  2. TomH says:

    Eh, it's a TRO. the judge probably felt she was giving the hyperventilating zoo folk the benefit of the doubt. The real question is, upon looking at the merits will there be Rule 11 sanctions?

    Anyway, I get all my news from the ONN.

  3. Ken says:

    It's only a TRO, Tom, but TROs requiring takedowns of web content are (properly) pretty rare. Because web content is persistent, it's arguably equivalent to prior restraint.

  4. Ken says:

    Also, it's Louisiana state court, so no Rule 11 sanctions. Perhaps there is some equivalent in Louisiana law, which is cobbled together from the legal traditions of the French, the Deep South, riverboat gamblers, corrupt cops, bead-and-tit based economies, and people who clean up vomit for a living.

  5. Chief Rocka says:


    Your assesment of Matherne is right on. He is an ego maniac who tries to bully people around with money and threats of expensive legal wranglings. I am glad to see that Hammond Action News did not bend to the whims and threats of a bully.

    I wonder if Matherne's other threats to the college student are considered extorsion or blackmail.

    I have a sneaking suspicion that there are deeper darker secrets about things that have happened at the Global Zoo and to their animals over the years. Things that would curl your hair……

  6. Chris says:

    I hear that Matherne actually was devoured by a giraffe years ago. What walks as a man is merely what was pulled back across the void by ancient voodoo practioners – a strange bundling of dark animal spirits, malice and giraffe bile. Anything that draws a watchful eye to the mysterious rituals in the Global Wildlife Center's giraffe pyramid is a threat to his ongoing existance.

  7. mojo says:

    "Send him to feed the giraffes…"

  8. Nancy says:

    Dear Ken Matherne,

    Welcome to the Streisand Effect.

  9. bw says:

    "Anyone who thinks that article is real is too stupid to have a driver’s license to drive to Global Wildlife Center."

    Apparently you haven't kept abreast of current drivers' licensing requirements. Packing drivers' licenses as prizes in Cracker Jack boxes would represent raising the bar.

    Look, we all know that places like this make their profit not off the gate, but on selling overpriced crap in the gift shop, and therefore, while they may not be patronized exclusively by morons, their business model depends upon some minimum percentage of their customers being morons.

    It's sad, but true – we've dumbed down our society to the point that it's not safe for satire.

  10. Dwight Brown says:

    According to this version of the story, not only did the judge strike down the TRO, she also ordered Global Wildlife to pay Hammond Action News $500 "in attorney fees and court costs".

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