He Doesn't Write About Dicks Much. But When He Does, He Needs Footnotes.
Who is the most inappropriate man in the world?
He represents both sides in the Great Ape War.
He uses the Socratic method to intimidate law professors.
He doesn't use Latin much. When he does, he uses it to tell his opponents that their men, women, and children will be mercilessly slain.
He doesn't know whether Glen Beck raped and killed a girl in 1990. But if you think Beck did, he's happy to make sure you can say so.
He doesn't advocate sex offender registries. He openly advocates self-help castrations.
Lots of people hate SLAPP-suiters. He tells them to shut the fuck up on phone calls with their lawyers.
And now, his latest:
When most people see a phallic symbol in an advertisement, they laugh. When he sees a phallic symbol in an advertisement, he writes a brief to the Patent & Trademark Office defending it, employing a brief artistic, social, and philosophical history of dicks, footnotes about dicks, and multiple exhibits about dicks, all immaculately bluebooked:
We could go on forever in our survey of American phallic structures: The Coit Tower of San Francisco (Exhibit J), the Sunsphere in Knoxville (Exhibit K) and the Municipal Tower in Seattle (Exhibit L) among them. We use the phallus as a symbol of power, and prior to now, no government official has sought to disfavor such expression. The fact is, towers are, by definition, phalluses. Even the very building in which the USPTO expresses the phallic code. (Exhibit M). This newfound aghast reaction to the phallus is decidedly shocking.
His name is Marc Randazza. And he is the most inappropriate man in the world.
Last 5 posts by Ken White
- DoJ's Gag Order On Reason Has Been Lifted -- But The Real Story Is More Outrageous Than We Thought - June 22nd, 2015
- "Bald, Fat & Crazy" -- A Book About Perseverance - June 19th, 2015
- Did The Department of Justice Get A Gag Order Silencing Reason About The Grand Jury Subpoena? - June 18th, 2015
- Partial Victory In Patterico's Free Speech Case Before Ninth Circuit - June 15th, 2015
- Department Of Justice Uses Grand Jury Subpoena To Identify Anonymous Commenters on a Silk Road Post at Reason.com - June 8th, 2015