Tell Me About The Rabbit, Marc Stephens

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105 Responses

  1. Mad Rocket Scientist says:

    I guess he operates under the "Go big, or go home" philosophy.

  2. delurking says:

    He totally needs a lawyer. I know this lawyer named Rakofsky.

  3. TJIC says:

    > Marc, kindly take this post — the link to which I will email to you — as a formal, legally binding, 100% certified style invitation to snort my taint.

    It's just as well that I stopped blogging back in Jan – I just can't compete with "legally binding invitation to snort my taint". LLLLLOL!

  4. Peter H says:


    This may be the greatest counter-troll of all time.

  5. bill quoted says:

    Stephens: I want to bring the heater. Announce my presence with authority.

    everyone: To announce your what?

    Stephens: My presence with authority.

    everyone: To announce your presence with authority?! This guy's a first ball fastball hitter, he's looking for the heat.

    Stephens: So what? He ain't seen my heat.

    everyone: All right, Meat. Give him your heat.

    [Stephens throws it and Ken hits a home run.]

    everyone: Well, Ken really hit the shit out of that one, didn't he?

  6. Tom Hunt says:

    Boy, talk about the Streisand Effect! I've picked up references to Marc Stephens and the Burzynski Clinic in 3 or 4 different blogs from different areas. This guy apparently doesn't know when to quit.

    BTW, that should have been "…have to berate a associate;".

    T. Hunt

  7. Pakkinpoppa says:

    Maybe he meant the royal "we"? Or, "wee" as in if you don't do what he says, his next 'net action will make you "wee" in your pants from fear?

    Snort your taint… and to think that deserves an out loud howl of laughter but due to me, maybe, being at work, I had to hold back and smile. And not snort.

  8. Windypundit says:

    I think this means that Ken is now legally obligated to let Marc Stephens snort his taint. That may not have been the wisest move.

  9. Phil Alexander says:

    Marc, kindly take this post — the link to which I will email to you — as a formal, legally binding, 100% certified style invitation to snort my taint.

    Is that the US equivalent of referring someone to the answer given in Arkell vs Pressdram?

    Thank you for that – really put a smile on my face :-)

  10. Douglas Muth says:

    Best part about this blog post: it now OWNS the Google search phrase "snort my taint". Here's a screencap:

    Insane Google search results aside, nicely done! The best way to deal with bullies like this guy is to stand up to them.

  11. Michael says:

    Huge, huge kudos Ken. This made my day. ;-)

  12. Caleb says:

    "…if this associate is a giant goddam invisible rabbit…"

    Ken, I think you're tangling with the infamous "Harvey, Stephens & Assoc." You'd better back down, I hear púka are absolute sharks in the courtroom.

  13. Scott Jacobs says:

    …if this associate is a giant goddam invisible rabbit…

    Ken, what have I told you about spending so much time around that Bloggess chick?

  14. badsciencemonk says:

    You are my god! Now can you sort out Burzynski's phd?

  15. Lynn says:

    Ah, with the rabbit bit, you'd make the Bloggess proud

  16. Dr Aust says:

    I'm guessing:

    "All you actions have been recorded"

    – is a kind of comic threat, along the lines of that internet fave:

    "All your sekrit emails iz belong to us"

    – looks like Mr Stephens got someone to check his syntax this time, though. Kudos.

  17. Randall says:

    Ken, you are now my hero.

    May I have your permission to use "formal, legally binding, 100% certified style invitation to snort my taint" in my own legal correspondence?

  18. Alan Henness says:

    Being from the other side of the pond (or being from an older generation), I'm still trying to work out what the hell 'snort my taint' means…

  19. Daniela says:

    Brilliant. *bows*

  20. Shadow says:

    Look here, Ken. Many of us are visiting here from the United Kingdom, and are confused by your technical legal jargon. Is "snort my taint" a term of art amongst US attorneys? Could one use it in court? Enquiring minds want to know.

  21. dwbrant says:


  22. derek says:

    hah! Lovely response. I'm thoroughly enjoying watching you poke at the playground bully.

  23. Scott Jacobs says:

    Alan, allow me to help…

    You know what "snort my" means, surely. "Taint", as it is used here, referes informally to a part of the male anatomy… You know, the part between your legs, that 'taint your asshole, and 'taint your balls"…

    The taint.

  24. Alan Henness says:

    Thanks, Scott. I now know more than I did a minute ago. Not sure I wanted or needed to know that, mind you! :-)

  25. Gail says:

    All your base are belong to us.

  26. Dan Weber says:

    "Snort my taint" is right up there with "go shit in a hat and pull it down over your ears."

    How is yours in Latin?

  27. Chris Berez says:

    This is fantastic! I really hope he writes back. Although I have to wonder if the realization that he's now dealing with a for-real lawyer caused the words "Oh shit" to float through his mind.

  28. b says:

    *gets popcorn, sits patiently to wait for next episode*
    Please, please let there be a response…

  29. Rukymoss says:

    I just discovered this blog a few days ago, due to following the Burzynski affair on some science/atheist/skeptic blogs–wow, I've been missing out! My own take on the latest from Marc Stephens is that he has just become "aware that some asshole is signing [his] name to stupid letters." But IANAL, so I could be wrong about that.

  30. Ruth says:

    I'm so going to be haunting here waiting for the next installment….

  31. Zyaama says:


    That's beautiful, man, really. Brought a tear to this mean old cynic's eyes.

  32. Shadow says:


    That’s beautiful, man, really. Brought a tear to this mean old cynic’s eyes.

    Wrong choice of words in the circumstances, Zyaama.

  33. VPJ says:

    Just a beautiful post. I bow to your superior troll-bashing skills.

  34. slambie says:

    "snort my taint"

    Wow, there really is nothing more epic than that.

  35. PalMD says:

    That's like, 1×10^20 internets.

  36. Jb says:

    In Latin, "snort my taint" is "freme perineum meum"

  37. Strings says:

    Ok… with one phrase, you have cemented the lawyer I wish to represent me if I ever need such.

    "… snort my taint" EPIC!

    Need to pop some corn, and wait to see his response!

  38. Tim S says:

    Super Awesome response.

  39. Tim Farley says:

    I definitely detect some Tim Bolen influence in the wording of that note. Sounds like Marc Stephens has either been in contact with Bolen, or at least is reading is screeds and cribbing talking points from him.

    Since I see your blog NOFOLLOWs everything, I feel safe in linking to The Bolen Report. It's hilariously bad. If you have the stomach to dig around, the conspiracy thinking around skeptic activities and SEO in his last few posts.

  40. Brian says:

    I appreciate your use of The Treatment(tm) here on this boob. :)

  41. SPQR says:

    Ken, I'm sooooo in awe. Stephens has to be the stupidest internet twit I've seen in some time.

    And taking on James Randi? Yep, stupidest internet twit.

  42. Tam says:

    Welp, his grandkids are gonna be crosseyed, now.

  43. Vader says:

    "Maybe he meant the royal “we”?"

    Maybe he meant "me and my hookworms."

  44. Hal_10000 says:

    "Marc, kindly take this post — the link to which I will email to you — as a formal, legally binding, 100% certified style invitation to snort my taint."

    I am still laughing my ass off and trying to explain to my daughter what Daddy think is so funny.

  45. Laura K says:

    Dear Ken,

    O, Master, I acknowledge your greatness. Thank you for setting this beautiful thing free in our world.

    Jb–thank you so much for the Latin. Six years, and I might have still had to look the grammar forms up. This one is right up there with my favorite: Futute te ipsum et caballum tuum. You rock!

  46. David says:

    Great article. Who is he going to take on next – the Supreme Court?

    And as funny as it was, I was starting to worry that 'GOVERN YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY' was going to be the most memorable phrase to come out of this affair. Seems it'aint so!

  47. bkd69 says:

    I can't help but wonder, in calling Marc Stephens a douche, if you haven't opened yourself up to action from the manufacturer of Axe body spray (and related products).

  48. G Thompson says:

    Oh wow.. still laughing here and had to dash over to Jack of Kent to see if he said the normal "Arkell v Pressdram" reference to this sort of idiocy… he did ( )

    Your "snort my taint" is now my new reference phrase.

    I'd go so far as to say its a cross between a Chaucer insult, mixed with some Shakespearian prose with a bit of the Randazza legal chutzpah thrown in for good measure


  49. Worm says:

    I can't be sure but I suspect the original reference to identity theft in conection with JREF is this, which I believe is now coming close to asettlement, and anyway only involved Randi in a personal capacity, not JREF (as I understand it)

  50. Anthony says:

    Excellent! Snort my taint!

  51. MIke Jecks says:

    Superb! The best of the best on the web this morning, sir.

  52. Morus says:

    For Sale. White MacBook. Coffee Glaze.

  53. Andy says:

    I'm still trying to reconcile "former Presbyterian deacon" and "snort my taint". I guess there's a clue in the word "former".

  54. Laura K says:

    G–it is definitley not Chaucer/Chaucerian middle english, and probably not Shakespearean. Don't mistake me; it's brilliant. I'm just a cultural history geek and I can't always fight the craving to point stuff like that out in the interest of sharing usless info.

  55. Damon says:

    This is the best reading since the whole series of articles on scamming. Kudos. Nothing better that to see a justifed smackdown in public. What's that line from Kill Bill "come at me with all your strength". Go Ken. Kick his mother loving ass, drive him before you until you hear "the lamentation of de women"!

  56. Paul says:

    Classic :)

    "Marc, kindly take this post — the link to which I will email to you — as a formal, legally binding, 100% certified style invitation to snort my taint." LOL

  57. marco73 says:

    Pit Bull's new rap album will be titled "Snort my Taint." Ken, I think you are in line for residuals.

  58. DF says:

    I had been following this story because it amused me. Now I'm thoroughly entertained.

  59. Cathryn says:

    Bravo! Thank you so much for the laugh! Excellent job!

  60. Ken says:

    No response from Marc. I am disappointed. What the hell am I going to write about now?

    I have decided to put "snort my taint" on the firm's business cards.

  61. Scott Jacobs says:

    Kick his mother loving ass, drive him before you until you hear “the lamentation of de women”!

    Can inflatable dolls lament audibly?

  62. SPQR says:

    Snort My Taint ™

  63. Ken says:

    Apparently this post has inspired several other people to find me online. Oh, well.

  64. Kudos, Ken, for the double theatrical reference to both Mary Chase's "Harvey" and John Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men," in the title. Especially apt because the character who utters the line about the rabbits is a moron. Well played.

  65. raptros-v76 says:

    I'm sorry Ken! I was bored and you made it really easy to figure out!

  66. doug says:

    ok, Ed. but i dont really want to know.

  67. MeanDean says:

    So far as Stephens' use of the royal "we," I believe he may be pestered by the same flying elves that used to torment me when I was a teenager.

    The elves went away when I gave up huffing Liquid Paper for fun; perhaps Marc is suffering from the same malady. (If this is the case, hey Marc! Say 'hi' to Stinger and WoofWoof for me!)

  68. Andrea Knieps says:

    Oh my friend – It is a good thing I am working from home today. There is no way I could explain to a client why I am laughing so hard that tears are running down my face. GO GET 'EM!!!

  69. Laura K says:

    Scott Jacobs you are my hero for the day! …Ah the pathos of the sobbing inflatable women….

  70. Scott Jacobs says:

    Your standards are set depressingly low, Laura…

  71. Michael says:

    Some friends of mine run a group music review blog that goes by the name of Tickle Your Taint Eclectic Music Reviews, just though I had better share that here. ;-)

    They actually do have some good writing and know a lot about music, triggercut would dig these dudes.

  72. Doug says:

    oh crap. i couldnot resist the urge. i think i figured it out and i wasnt drunk.

  73. lodermulch says:

    achievement unlocked:
    become the god of countertrolling :)

  74. Kevin says:

    Fantastic smackdown.

  75. mojo says:

    A Daryl Zero fan, I'd say.

  76. Ansley says:

    But I'm a rabbit…

  77. Darwy says:

    Priceless. Absolutely priceless.

    I'll be sure to quote Ken whenever I need to use the phrase, "as a formal, legally binding, 100% certified style invitation to snort my taint."

    Although, since I'm female it doesn't quite carry the same effect…

  78. IGotBupkis, Sailing the Economic Seas Betwixt Scylla And Charybdis says:

    >>> There’s “we” again.

    Perhaps he's trying for the multiple-personality defense route??

  79. I looooooooooove you. And I don't say that to just anyone.

  80. Mark Fournier says:

    Beautiful! Your response is almost gonzo. I'm curious, though–hasn't this Stephens guy already crossed a legal line somewhere with all of his threats, pretensions, and cyber-stalking? If not, keep pressing his buttons. He'll cross a line soon enough, because he seems to be genuinely unhinged. And the Burzinski clinic probably nets enough cash to make it worth while for a legal team to pursue this.

  81. Nentuaby says:

    Arkell v. Pressdram be damned blasted, it's time to start referring people to Stevens v. Popehat

  82. ItPutsTheLotionOnItsSkin says:

    This reminds me of an incident that happened to me a few years back.

    Some local real estate company was 'upset' that it was getting out that they were involved in plenty of small claims cases for fraud(as the defendant).

    They hired a real estate attorney to send me a registered letter claiming I was in violation of copyright laws by posting this information, because I was using their name to identify them as the defendants. All sort of legally threatening phrases, about how I would be charged with multiple criminal counts. And that I was to hand over my domain to them in order to resolve this dispute.

    So, what was I do to? I simply photocopied and transcribed the letter and posted it for all to read.

    A few 10's of thousands of people then got a laugh out of watching a real estate lawyer try to be a copyright lawyer.

    Never heard from him again.

  83. SAWells says:

    Interestingly, this one doesn't seem to mention the cancer clinic at all. This implies that Marc Stephens is having his own personal psychotic break here, independent of the ongoing Burzynski debacle.

  84. Ken says:

    Oh, Marc Stephens, Marc Stephens. My lonely taint calls out for your quivering nose. Why won't you write back, Marc Stephens?

  85. SPQR says:

    Ken, a taint cain't be lonely. It always has a couple of friends nearby.

  86. Scott Jacobs says:

    Yeah, but they're both a little nutty, so do they count?

  87. Erica says:

    Ken, you're really a hero of mine. You write like I hope you speak and you speak like I wish I had the guts to! I will always love your column, so please don't ever leave us :)

  88. Luna_the_cat says:

    This is the first post of yours I've read, first time visit to the blog, and already I need to go clean the coffee off my keyboard. And out of my sinuses. Ow.

    Brilliant. F***ing brilliant.

  89. VPJ says:

    Has Mr. Stephens yet availed himself of the opportunity to get a snortful of taintage? Doesn't seem like him to leave such a prize just laying dormant.

  90. Kerry says:

    SO funny. A wizard did it is an awesome excuse!

  91. Jess says:

    “legally binding invitation to snort my taint” Geez I haven't laughed this hard in years – in fact I think I just peed my pants. Great job carving this guy down to real size – 2 inch pocket size.

  92. Ken says:

    New threats from Marc. I will blog when I have time.

  93. marvinmartian says:

    Tell marc that tarrant84 called him a poopy head

  94. waggy says:


    I love it! i fallowed a link from to here! been reading a few different post. Great site and great response!

    Btw skyrim rocks

  1. December 7, 2011

    […] Burzynski drama rumbles on this week with Marc Stephens reappearing to threaten an American legal blogger and several skeptics raising questions about the validity and nature of Dr Stanislaw Rajmund […]

  2. December 7, 2011

    […] UPDATE 07/12/11 – More than a week after the Burzynski Clinic distanced themselves from Stephens (in the press release dated 29/11/11), Stephens unwisely threatened another lawyer, who also writes on a popular blog (Popehat). The problematic post is linked below and the email exchange is here. […]

  3. December 7, 2011

    […] blogging lawyer is looking into the legal aspects of Marc Stephens's threats. And he has been in contact with him. Like this:Like4 bloggers like this post. Uncategorized alternative cancer treatment, […]

  4. December 9, 2011

    […] few days old, but while we're on the subject of internet trolls, it seems worth pointing to this masterpiece of the anti-trolling genre from one of our old friends at Popehat. Mark is the Managing […]

  5. December 10, 2011

    […] Tell Me About The Rabbit, Marc Stephens Marc, kindly take this post — the link to which I will email to you — as a formal, legally binding, 100% certified style invitation to snort my taint. […]

  6. December 12, 2011

    […] Filed under: Fun — Lex @ 8:35 pm Tags: Marc Stephens, Popehat Ken at Popehat responds to groundless legal threats by "Marc Stephens," who apparently is posing as a lawyer. Just for the record, making […]

  7. December 20, 2011

    […] and link Rhys to the identity fraud of James Randis longtime partner in exactly the same way that Marc Stephens did in emails to Popehat and even using the same images. Which does make me wonder if SKEPTICSExposed might be down to the […]

  8. January 7, 2012

    […] A few days ago he got a "friendly note" from Marc Stephens. The note contained what I would characterize as a decent effort, given his apparent abilities, to intimidate me. He sent it to my Popehat address and to my real-world big-boy-pants Ken’s-sekrit-identity law firm address. […]

  9. January 8, 2012

    […] and link Rhys to the identity fraud of James Randis longtime partner in exactly the same way that Marc Stephens did in emails to Popehat and even using the same images. Which does make me wonder if SKEPTICSExposed might be down to the […]

  10. January 31, 2012

    […] Executive summary: Snort my taint. (h/t Ken @ PopeHat) […]