My Marc Stephens Update, Or, Mr. Snarky Numbered Lists Visits Crazytown

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62 Responses

  1. Cross-Atlantic I think you mean… unless you were watching a Kurosawa version that I somehow missed.

  2. Al says:

    Wait. You're not the boss of California? What next? Are you even a Pope?

  3. Now I am looking for some version of "Don't get in an argument with people who buy ink by the barrel" to cover lamely attempting to dodge or redirect a question from Ken. It would be best if it somehow involved Cocoa-Puffs.

  4. Doug says:

    marc stephens, you are crazy, so govern yourself accordingly.

  5. Don't you talk to me like that you big cocoa puff.

  6. b says:

    Reading Marc's letters (and perusing the PDF manifesto, which owes more to MS Word "skills" than to Photoshop ones) is a constant invitation to incredulity, but, as you do, I remind myself that delusional and incompetent individuals of this stripe and scale do indeed exist.

  7. Luna_the_cat says:

    —- you can lay your soul bare about excruciatingly personal issues, you can pen extraordinary philosophical insights, you can draft brilliant and inexorable legal arguments, but you will never get a fraction of the attention from any of that as you will if you invent a phrase like “snort my taint.” —-

    And you JUST FIGURED THIS OUT. ::shakes head::

    As for the rest, I can only add


    I *am* surprised that you let his crack about you calling him names lick "cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs" pass without challenge, when he added that in himself in a deliberate alteration of your message. I mean, that's just batshit.

  8. Luna_the_cat says:

    names *like

    damn snot-brain. Me, I mean.

  9. Chris Berez says:

    Stop blogging behind your popehat and disclose your true name and location by posting it online.

    Yeah, Ken, stop blogging behind your popehat! How do you think that makes the rest of us feel, Ken, we who have no popehats to crouch behind while we blog?

    Wait a second, maybe that's it. Maybe that's why Marc is so upset. You have a popehat and he has none. I have taken the liberty of searching the Google and I found these helpful instructions that show how everyone can make their own popehats .

    Marc, if you see this, you don't have to be sad anymore. Just make your own popehat to blog behind. If you have trouble following the directions, I can even make the popehat for you and send it to you. I'll even put some unicorn stickers on it or something. Nobody can be sad when they have a popehat with unicorn stickers on it to blog behind!

  10. Chris Berez says:

    Oh goddamnit, I forgot to close an HTML tag somewhere didn't I? Well gosh, don't I feel the fool.

  11. Ken says:

    I fixed it for you Chris. I know that guys like you and Marc sometimes have problems with their internets.

  12. Squillo says:

    I can't decide if Marc Stephens is a slightly deranged individual or a comedy genius. He appears to have burned through a number of careers; maybe he's finally found one he's good at.

  13. Clark says:

    > I was getting, perhaps, a bit testy. But I hadn’t eaten in minutes


  14. Laura K says:

    Ken, you are awesome.

  15. VPJ says:

    This is exactly why you should never buy your internet out of the back of a Dodge Dart from someone you met at cognitive therapy.

    That's why I got mine out of the back of a baitshop. No fool me.

  16. Ken says:

    Exactly. Ask one of the attorneys to hand it to you.

  17. IGotBupkis, Sailing the Economic Seas Betwixt Scylla And Charybdis says:

    I remind myself that delusional and incompetent individuals of this stripe and scale do indeed exist.

    I keep getting reminded of this every day. Somehow these incompetent bumpkins are given authority over relevant things of my day-to-day life. It's amazing.

  18. IGotBupkis, Sailing the Economic Seas Betwixt Scylla And Charybdis says:

    >>> I found these helpful instructions that show how everyone can make their own popehats .

    And now, thanks to the miracle of the internets and webly things, a mystery is finally revealed for all to marvel at.

  19. IGotBupkis, Sailing the Economic Seas Betwixt Scylla And Charybdis says:

    **a mystery**

    Ah, in case it wasn't clear, that mystery was if it was possible for someone to be sufficiently stupid as to get all the way to China and STILL KEEP DIGGING.

    Nothing to do with the *milliner's art* mind you…

  20. Pricknick says:

    Thanks for making me believe there is a use for legal advice again Ken.
    I too hate giant, invisible, fucking rabbits.

  21. eddie says:

    Okay, this is weird. The picture of James Randi and Jose Alvarez that Marc included in the pdf-of-crazy…

    … I know the exact spot at which it was taken. I recognize the architecture.

    Also, you don't look anything like I imagined. I can only surmise that, like Superman, you adopt a mild-mannered disguise for the safety of your loved ones.

  22. Suzanne says:

    His manifesto is quite interesting. According to it, the cancer patient Rhys is accused of "harassing" contacted him. Does that mean that she was harassing Rhys? Because she tweeted to him first, not the other way around. And sending a tweet to someone, like an email, seems to meet Marc's definition of harassment.

  23. SPQR says:

    Whoa, Ken, you definitely hooked a big loon.

  24. Vince says:

    "Do you have any comment on this report regarding your status and authorization to act on behalf of the clinic. You cuckoo-for-Cocoa-Puffs twit."

    That actually brought tears to my eyes.

  25. Bethany says:

    "White" was kind of a letdown for me. I was expecting Ken's sekrit last name to be something exciting and/or exotic… I spent literally minutes believing that deluded fantasy. Disappointment is so bitter.

  26. Windypundit says:

    You're Ken White? Damn! I had "Randazza sock puppet" in the pool…

  27. jimbo says:

    But what does Hitler have to say about it all, that's what I want to know?

  28. Ken says:

    @Bethany: I get that from women a lot.

  29. Ken says:

    @jimbo: Oh, thanks a lot. Now Marc Stephens has irrefutable proof that we are aligned with Hitler.

  30. TJIC says:

    > What next? Are you even a Pope?


  31. Clark says:


    > like Superman, you adopt a mild-mannered disguise

    Hey! You've got the wrong Popehatter!

  32. Josh says:

    Yikes…looks like *somebody's* got a bad case of the butthurt. It boggles my mind that people like this exist, and yet they do. I even know a few of them personally, I'm sorry to say. However, while they are aggravating to deal with, they *do* provide a certain amount of comic relief for the rest of us who don't have to deal with them.

  33. mojo says:

    "Get the gaff! Get the gaff!"

  34. CTrees says:

    First: fantastic, as always.

    Now, then… you don't look a thing like I pictured you, Mr. Ken Popehat. I always thought you were a prepubescent Asian child. Never really questioned how you passed the bar at such a young age (admittedly, this lack of questioning DOES fall unacceptably into certain stereotypes), but I did wonder about your advanced command of vulgarity. I suppose all is explained, now. Alas, life's mysteries must all leave us eventually…

  35. writerJames says:

    Holy shit this is hilarious.

  36. Richard Hershberger says:

    meh. Back before usenet went on life support I saw pretty much the same sort of exchanges pretty frequently. I even participated in a few. It is all good clean fun, but as George Carlin observed about dry humping, it doesn't mean anything.

  37. Petra says:

    Thanks. I'm chocking on my salad reading all this. Marc really should consider career in comedy. You can't make up this shit.

  38. Rliyen says:

    Ken, He tried to make it to your level of snark in those altered emails. But, there's no way he can surpass "Snort my taint."

    The best he can come up with is 'Twit' and 'Cuckcoo for Coca Puffs'?

    Wow. My young son can come up with better retorts.

  39. Ken says:

    @Rliyen, to be fair to Marc, both of those references originated with me — he just plucked them from elsewhere and plugged them into the emails.

  40. Bob says:

    "..that ship sailed when the dice of genetics and upbringing were cast and produced the sad little snake-eyes that is you."

    Another classic. I come for the legal editorials but I stay for the insults.

  41. None of my emails to Marc Stephens accusing him of intimidation have been answered, even when I sent him links to posts disparaging him. I

    Is it possible that Marc is the fool behind the current Youtube campaign against Rhys Morgan?

  42. Jeff Hall says:

    Every hour that Marc spent crafting emails to you was an hour that he didn't spend sending emails to people who might be intimidated or annoyed by him. You gave a half-dozen people a lovely Christmas present, and they don't even know it.

  43. Jack B. says:

    When Hollywood gets around to making the Marc Stephens/Ken at Popehat version of 84 Charring Cross Road, will it be entitled "Snort My Taint"?

  44. Ken says:

    Who is playing me? And if you say "Karl Rove" I'm going to be upset.

  45. andrews says:

    I’m not going to let him continue to threaten people with impunity

    Good. I'd make him threaten people with a banana. Or perhaps a pointed stick, if he makes it through the advanced class.

  46. Firehawke says:

    I'd put up Bill Murray. He's the only one who could put up deadpan delivery of that whole thing.

  47. VPJ says:

    Who is playing me? And if you say “Karl Rove” I’m going to be upset.

    This guy.

  48. This sort of reminds me of the show An Idiot Abroad. I always have to wonder if Karl Pilkington is actually an idiot or just plays the greatest straight man ever. I lean towards the latter. For Marc, though, the former.

  49. Stephen says:

    It's very clear in this exchange that, for whatever reason, Ken is playing with a much fuller deck and I don't think you can put that entirely on the Harvard education. Marc Stephens just doesn't come across as a very well man to me. I recognise making bizarre changes to letters the other side wrote from grittier pro bono work.

  50. ClubMedSux says:

    Ken- I seriously wonder if this guy is suffering from some sort of bipolar-type disorder. I was once assigned a pro bono client who alleged wrongful voluntary commitment. We never did figure out what was wrong with her (she started threatening us so the judge allowed us to withdraw) but a psychologist friend suggested it was something between schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Anyway, what makes me think of my situation are those silly threats that Stephens interjected into your previous emails. Our client would similarly tell us things like, "Stop telling me to slit my wrists. I'd never do that"–projecting her own issues onto us. The "twit" and "asshole" comments feel like projections too. I suppose it's possible that he thinks he can fool somebody else into believing you actually typed those things, but part of me wonders if he's actually tricking HIMSELF into believing they're true. Anyway, I'll stop playing armchair psychiatrist now, but whether it's pure stupidity or actual mental illness, it seems like this has gone beyond your typical troll/douchebag.

  51. Reggie Dixon says:

    Brilliant series of responses to someone who is rivalling Markuze (Mabus) in sheer out of his tree-ness. I laughed out loud at
    "I like writing about bad people, Marc. You’re a bad person. I’m going to keep writing to you as long as you act like a bad person."

  52. Neuroskeptic says:

    There's clearly something wrong with the guy, and I for one think the best approach is just to ignore him.

  53. VPJ says:

    it seems like this has gone beyond your typical troll/douchebag

    This is your brain…this is your brain snorting taint.

    Any questions?

  54. David Leech says:

    Very impressive work Popehat consider your site 'bookmarked.'

  55. Pugs says:

    Stephens reminds me of Jeff V. Merkey, who a judge said (in a finding of fact) "124. In fact, however, Merkey is not just prone to exaggeration, he also is and can be deceptive, not only to his adversaries, but also to his own partners, his business associates and to the court. He deliberately describes his own, separate reality." You can find the court ruling on Groklaw, if you like, in The Novell-Merkey Case (1998) story. Jeff hasn't been in the nerd news lately, but 8 years ago he was a big topic in certain circles.

    Sorry, I don't know html to format this post.

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