Marc Stephens Threatens Me Some More

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121 Responses

  1. C. S. P. Schofield says:


    The stupidity, bad grammar, general evasiveness, and inability to grasp basic concepts displayed in this "person"'s writing strikes me as suspiciously familiar. Is it possible that "he" is, in fact, the bastard offspring of internet viruses and spambots, somehow evolved to self-motivation (if not self-awareness)?

  2. Josh says:

    Good gods…this just gets better and better all the time. I'm learning all KINDS of new weasel-words from these exchanges!

    Also, Ken, you may want to look at the formatting of your last block quoted section. I don't know if anyone else is seeing this, or if my browser is just craptacular, but it's cutting off words on the right side of my screen.

  3. Ken says:

    Wouldn't that be a joke on William Gibson — if loose AIs didn't run megacorps and manipulate global events and communicate with other species, but trolled on the internet for the lulz?

  4. Adam says:

    Yeah, some portion of the last email is getting cut off on the right, but I didn't notice until you pointed it out.

  5. Merlin says:

    Josh – It's happening for me too, in Chrome.

    Loads just fine in Firefox however.

  6. Looks fine in Chrome and Firefox 10. Gets chopped off on the right when viewed with IE 8.

  7. Ken says:

    Is that any better, now?

  8. Change that, does not get chopped off AS BAD in Chrome relative to IE 8. Just a couple of long lines.

  9. Merlin says:

    It's still chopping off a bit, but it's better.

  10. Ken says:

    It looks like ass now. Crap. I'm not going to fiddle any more, I'll just make it worse.

  11. anon says:

    *Very* entertaining! More, please, as soon as developments arise…

  12. Suzanne Offner says:

    I was so happy to see this post – we hadn't heard from Marc in a while, and he's always good entertainment. He must have been feeling left out, so he emailed you for some attention.

    I am also seeing the last email cutting off on the right margin.

  13. VPJ says:

    Woo-hoo! More Crazytown!

    *sits down with bag of popcorn*

  14. Windypundit says:

    Ken, I gotta say, trolling the internet for the lulz is probably the much easier AI problem to solve…

  15. Dan says:

    This is high entertainment, but why bother telling him about the anti-SLAPP laws? You're just running in circles exchanging emails with this guy.

    (Also, still chopping the last email on the right margin in IE8)

  16. Anonymous Coward says:

    This exchange is incredibly entertaining. When will he learn? If he is anything like the people of lesser caliber that I have dealt with he likely has his worldview built in such a way that everything is an attack all the time…such a sad state of affairs. It renders people incapable of any sort of reasonable discussion.

    And on the note of AIs trollin'… All I can think of in response to that is "Yes, please?". Perhaps that is the reason I no longer write code.

  17. Lex says:

    Clearly, he needs to snort your taint.

  18. Damon says:

    Nothing better than watching someone who is too stupid or arrogant to realize he's just digging a bigger hole for himself. Mama taught me to stop digging when I know I'm over matched.

  19. Linus says:

    I think "Feckless Intimidation" is a great name for a band.

  20. ken says:


    Yes, your entire post has the text clipped. If you "cut and paste" the posting you can see the entire post correctly.

  21. David says:

    I'll fix the truncation problem.

  22. Rick C says:

    I'm not sure why you're getting the clipping (which I can see in both Chrome and IE9 on Windows 7), but it looks like it might have something to do with both explicitly-set column widths (why do that? Why not set it to a percentage, or even let it float? It looks pretty crappy in a maximized browser at 1920×1080, not that that's how I usually read things) and repeated use of overflow:hidden.

  23. Rick C says:

    Also: how come so many blogs leave off next post/previous post links at the bottom of the post and/or bottom of comments? If I click on a post to read it, I have to go back to the main page to go to the previous post, or else right-click and open in new tab on each post I'm interested in.

  24. Ken says:

    Thank you, David. To the extent the blog works, it is because of David.

  25. Wyn says:

    Ahh! Such fun.
    There was I thinking Friday night was a wash out after my rugby game got cancelled due to a frozen pitch. But No! Marc re-emerges!
    I too, have a bag of Dorito's ready for the next instalment. C'mon Marc, don't let us down.

  26. David says:

    @RickC The current theme leaves a lot to be desired from a technical standpoint, yes. It was selected and used as-is a good long time ago, so alterations to the CSS have been piecemeal in the intervening years.

    It is part of our Master Plan for Blogspheric Dominion ™ to implement a custom, semi-liquid, grid-based theme with snazzier eye-appeal (and a mobile-friendly alternative) Real Soon Now.

  27. Scott Jacobs says:

    Wait wait wait…

    an anonymous “Blogger” named Popehat..

    Isn't this the twatwaffle that e-mailed your ENTIRE FIRM??

    How the fuck does he get the nerve to claim you are anonymous?

  28. Josh says:

    Huzzah! The clipping's been fixed!

    Rick: I'm unfortunately stuck using IE8. For some reason someone in the IT department at work thinks we shouldn't be allowed to have nice things, like the option to install Firefox or IE9.

  29. Windypundit says:

    This does raise the question…he's keeping this going because he's a twit, crazy, bumptious & fake. What's your excuse? For the lulz? Don't you get enough of this kind of thing in your day job?

  30. Scott Jacobs says:

    Also, at this point, any further e-mails from this guy should result in a response along the lines of "I have done my best to be patient with you, you mind-achingly ignorant bumble-fuck. If you want to sue me, then do so. Otherwise, fuck off."

    Feel free to pretty it up with some latin so it passes lawyer standards. :)

  31. Merlin says:


    Portable Apps are your friend. Chunk the portable version on either a USB drive or in a folder in your "My Documents" folder. They don't have to be installed, and they don't hit the registry. So even if you're on a super-locked down PC, you can still run an alternate browser.

    The link for FireFox is:

    There are tons of other portable apps available too.

  32. Good job Mr Stephens! It's totally working. Everyone reading this is now thoroughly convinced that you're an upstanding swell guy who never bullied a teenager for criticizing a dubious cancer "treatment." You betcha.

  33. RB says:

    Yo, take THAT, bitch! Gettem', Mr. Ken 'Popehat'

  34. Kasey says:

    Ahhhh. Marc Stephens. The gift that keeps on giving. I never want him to stop.

  35. Laura K says:

    You know, beyond the sheer evil glee I take in the insults you level at this heap of troll and minotaur excressence, Ken, I salute you for keeping your cool in your responses-in proportion to what I would have done; chapter 678 of why Laura would not make a good Lawyer…

  36. kmc says:

    I hereby declare my intent to use Scott Jacobs's "twatwaffle" as often as I can manage to fit it into conversation.

    Also, I realize this isn't a meaningful contribution, but don't people like this guy just make you think of one of the Muppets when they're freaking out? Like, instead of taking the time to rub two synapses together, he's just running in circles with his head flopped back, mouth open, arms raised limply to the sky while he's composing these responses?

  37. Caleb says:

    My God, it's like watching a cat playing with a half-dead mouse. Only that's an insult to the mouse.

    Also: multiple parallel cites in an informal letter to a brain-dead half-wit who probably doesn't even know what a reporter is? Why?

  38. Ken says:

    Caleb: because I was too lazy to edit them out?

    (Parallel cites are ridiculous in the day of online research, anyway.)

  39. Caleb says:

    Too true. But still, they look intimidating. That has to be at least part of the reason they're still around.

  40. mojo says:

    "What we have here….is failure to communicate."
    — Captain, Road Prison 36

  41. TheOtherMatt says:

    Hello Ken:

    I recently watch a video
    The Vlogger here implies that one can have a cause of action under anti-SLAPP statute for filing a false DMCA takedown is this true? All I can find is 18 USC 512(f), but then again I was only a pre-law for three weeks.

  42. squillo says:

    Ahh, another installment of "Shit Marc Stephens Says." Subtitle: "Please, sir, may I have another?"

  43. JLA Girl says:

    This is why Popehat and Ken are awesome. I've been lurking and reading and thinking about the general awesomeness, but the amount of restraint shown towards Mr. Stephens here is too much to respect in silence anymore.

    You guys rock.

  44. Doug says:

    His kind never disappears.

  45. Ken says:

    Updated: he responded.

  46. SPQR says:

    The crazy, it just won't do the sensible thing and shut up, will it?

  47. doug says:

    see, he cant stay away. he loves the attention. maybe he has a borderline personality disorder, but who knows. he will be back.

  48. BL1Y says:

    TIL the uncanny valley has a text equivalent.

  49. I would have suggested that you refer this annoying little bluebottle to the response given in the groundbreaking case of Stephens v. Popehat, but you already have.

  50. Hearsay. You're just talking a buncha hearsay. Objection. Voire dire. Leading the witness. Hearsay.

  51. Shay says:

    Concur with the "twatwaffle" praise. Many, many thanks, Scott; I am saving this for a worthy target.

  52. VPJ says:

    Objection! It's heresy! There's no men's ray! I object! Objection, I say!

  53. Ken, you're just having too much fun with this guy.But I get chills when you write "ineluctable."

  54. John says:

    my gawd I love this blog….

  55. Dan Weber says:

    You're the #2 and #3 spot on Google right now for "freakishly ignorant." Kudos.

  56. JohnBerry says:

    Marc Stephens comedy and then the Super Bowl, this could be a great weekend!

  57. uberduck says:

    I can't tell you how much happy this continuing saga brings me. Keep it Up!

  58. squillo says:

    Leaving aside his freakish ignorance of American law, it seems to me that your clownish friend is applying the lay definition of "hearsay," in which case he is perhaps implying that he didn't write what you say he did to the other bloggers, and that you are negligent (again in the lay sense) in not verifying their claims.

  59. Old Geezer says:

    I think you need to stop teaching this clown unless and until he pays his tuition and passes the midterm.

  60. Epona Harper says:

    Sweet Mother Danu!!!

    Marc Stephens, I'd like to state now that I Am Not A Lawyer. However, my beloved father IS a lawyer. I showed him some of your earlier antics and he was torn between amusement and disgust.

    Although I went into medicine instead of law (and it's a toss-up whether patients or clients give worse headaches), I've absorbed enough law-savvy from Dad to say "For the love of God, drop this now and pray some moron creates a bigger fiasco on the Internet so that your idiocy slides into oblivion without further comment."

    It is painfully obvious that you have no idea about the nature of libel or the 1st Amendment. And, since I am not even a generic attorney much less a 1st Amendment specialist, I think that's pretty damning.

  61. Epona Harper says:

    Oh, and BTW keep up the good work, Ken! Wave the Popehat flag high!

  62. Vice Magnet says:

    I think Marc would have responded again if he hadn't had to be at the gym in 26 minutes.

  63. Tam says:

    "Note, in reading Marc's list, that he thinks that posts that merely mention him in passing are "about" him."

    Oh, but they are.

    As a matter of fact, on his planet everything is about him.

  64. perlhaqr says:

    Scott: Feel free to pretty it up with some latin so it passes lawyer standards.

    "Snortum ad taintus." :D

  65. PalMD says:

    If MS didn't exist, we'd have to invent him.

  66. Ken says:

    @squillo: I can see him trying to make that argument. The problem with it is that I wrote him seeking comment before posting and he didn't answer. I also specifically asked him, in the course of our correspondence, whether he was claiming that the various emails attributed to him we're falsified, and he didn't take the opportunity to say that they were. Instead, he continued to be deliberately vague and mysterious, and ignored the question. Note that he still won't come and and say explicitly whether he is a lawyer.

    Also, multiple people at multiple sites have reported getting very similar emails with very similar threats. I suppose it could be a vast conspiracy to fabricate emails and attribute them to him—but if it is, why hasn't he used any of his many opportunities to say so?

    No court would ever agree that writing about him based on these facts is negligent (even assuming that is the standard – which it very likely is not). Instead, any court would find that, by relying on multiple corroborating sources reporting his behavior, and given the fact that the emails he sends to me are similar in style and tone and nuttiness to the emails attributable to him, and given that he doesn't disavow the emails attributed to him even when asked directly, and given that he admits to sending emails to the people who report getting emails from him (see, for example, his defenses of writing to Rhys Morgan), that I've exceeded the level of care required. His negligence argument is just frivolous. He's
    playing games.

  67. Narad says:

    "Snortum ad taintus."

    Insuffla mea labes is closer.

  68. jb says:

    Freme meum perineum, perhaps.

  69. Narad says:

    Freme meum perineum, perhaps.

    Ah, but fremere refers to emitting a snort, and it's intransitive in this sense. An imperative construction would be something like exhorting the perineum to itself snort.

  70. IGotBupkis, Three Time Winner of the Silver Sow Award says:

    It would not suprise me if the man could have Ann Coulter biting her own tail…


  71. IGotBupkis, Three Time Winner of the Silver Sow Award says:

    "suprise" … surprise. DOH!

  72. IGotBupkis, Three Time Winner of the Silver Sow Award says:

    >> Ken, I gotta say, trolling the internet for the lulz is probably the much easier AI problem to solve…

    I believe the proper testing ground for AIs for this would be DU. AND the fun you'd have creating it would be about as much as humans can bear.

  73. IGotBupkis, Three Time Winner of the Silver Sow Award says:

    Rick: I'm unfortunately stuck using IE8. For some reason someone in the IT department at work thinks we shouldn't be allowed to have nice things, like the option to install Firefox or IE9.

    The answer to your "for some reason" is that he's a bureaucratic twat who thinks his convenience is more important than making your computer use more functional.

    The reason for this has an awful lot to do with the lack of bitching, however, at lower levels, about it. Having done TS, done a spectacular, service oriented job at it, and gotten fuck-all for appreciation (Upgraded an entire office of 35 people from P2s to P3/1ks while saving the company roughly one half to one third of my entire yearly salary in the process, and having gotten dumped when the main office offered to take over the IT actions eliminating their part of the budget, while providing the same twat-level of service you're speaking of is a prime example of why twat-level Mordac™ brand service is the office standard almost everywhere. Penny wise and pound foolish is the standard operating mode of pointy-haired management types)

  74. IGotBupkis, Three Time Winner of the Silver Sow Award says:

    lol, completing the sentence:
    "… I speak from experience"

  75. Rick C says:

    @David: "a mobile-friendly alternative" the template the Gormogons use is nice, FWIW. @Josh, that's a bummer. I was just listing browsers it wasn't working for me in, though, in case that helped narrow the problem down. @Scott Jacobs, "If you want to sue me, then do so. Otherwise, fuck off." Shouldn't taint-snorting figure in somewhere? (I haven't read the update yet.)

  76. Doug says:

    i like how he tries to talk down to you by calling you "Kenneth".

  77. John Burgess says:

    USG computers, particularly those that may deal with classified information, are purposely ordered without USB ports. This is to both stop 'accidents' like the Bradley Manning fiasco (DOD computers did not follow that rule), but also to avoid uploading anything or bypassing installed software. If IE is installed, IE is what will be used.

    One can argue (plead?) for updating or changes, but that's a loooong slog up hill, particularly when it means potentially having to makes changes in tens of thousands of computers used by people who, for the most part, simply see them as black boxes.

  78. nrasmuss13 says:

    When you feel compelled to write an email to a stranger in response to his allegation that you are a twit, it is time to sit down and rethink your life, twit.

  79. Ken says:

    Updated with the latest.

  80. Ken says:

    Note that Marc believes that I am a member of the skeptic movement (probably the only skeptic Deacon in my Presbyterian church), and that the actions of skeptics in England are attributable to me.

  81. Joe says:

    I was previously of the OPINION that Marc Stephens was brainless, deficient, dim, foolish, idiotic, nonsensical, obtuse, out to lunch, slow, thick, and witless. However based on Marc’s recent posts I fear my opinion is on its way to fast becoming fact. Marc: for the love of God, stop before you make yourself look any worse than you already have, if that is even possible.

  82. Phil Alexander says:

    Maybe he's confusing "hearsay" with "heresy"? Keep up the good work, Mr Hat (or should that be Your Eminence Hat?)

  83. Lurky McLurk says:

    You have more patience than me. I would have replied to Mr Stephens with the legendary response given by the defendants in the case of Arkell vs Pressdram (1971)

  84. PLW says:


  85. Scott Jacobs says:

    Damn, how do I get in on some of this hilarity? Do I have to write a blog post about him in order to get a threatening, ignorant e-mail from him?

  86. Roger says:

    This is rapidly approaching the point at which it would almost be worthwhile for the lulz to file a declaratory-judgment claim against him just to get him under oath.

  87. SPQR says:

    Sadly, its pretty clear that he won't be filing anything. However, the need to keep emailing you definitely shows some problematic mental state of one form or another.

  88. SPQR says:

    "Do I reside in the beautiful state of California, County of Los Angeles..? We will see."

    Well, Stephens, the 310 area code of your web business is one clue.

    However, there are others that Ken would prefer I not publicly disclose.

  89. SPQR says:

    Don't know if you've seen this, Ken but it appears that Marc Stephens enjoys seeing if he can commit other crimes in addition to UPL such as filing false police reports.

  90. kenB says:

    An imperative construction would be something like exhorting the perineum to itself snort.

    Snort, my taint!

  91. KronWeld says:

    What is his obsession with your avatar photo too? I don't get it. Lots and lots of people use an avatar photo that is not a picture of them.

  92. Joe says:

    It appears Mr. Stephens is not limiting his threats to the average blogger but is going after former patients of the Burzynski Clinic who have the audacity to simply post their personal experience and opinions related to that experience.
    1. Lisa | December 13, 2011 at 3:29 am | Reply
    My husband and I were personally scammed by Burzynski Clinic. And are currently being threatened by Marc A. Stephens aka MAS because of our website telling our experience with BC.
    It’s bad enough that this woman and her husband had to suffer through cancer and their experience with the clinic. Now they have to deal with this Stephens yahoo threatening them. Serioulsy, is there any way to get this guy to put a sock in it? Being terribly near sighted I simply cannot see what he has to gain by continuing along this path other than further confirming his reputation as censorious asshat of the first degree.

  93. Saedi Folluf says:

    I will say it, if no one else wants. Based on NO medical education but a lengthy life experience and healthy and inquisitive brain, I propose that Marc suffers from Schizophrenia. Mild probably, but present nevertheless. A telltale would be his ability to come up with a staggering-sized self-delusion system in which all facts are to his favor, no truth exists beyond his will and all facts are fair game to be changed and twisted to support his construct. I somehow have a feeling that an interaction line drawn between the cancer treatment clinic (or whatever it is) and skeptics (the bad people from his story) lies in the crux of his delusion. Actually, I am quite amused by this character. Unfortunately, I have to admit, I'm enjoying his plight on this forum a bit too much, I should probably be a better person and wish for him to somehow visit the psychiatrist and get the needed treatment rather sooner than later.

  94. Joe Pullen says:

    Saedi – well said. Must say I too have been enjoying the public humiliation of the arrogant Mr. Stephens a bit too much. I have also enjoyed learning all sorts of interesting new words and phrases here on Popehat. Such as: kerfuffle, twatwaffle, and of course the infamous snort my taint. Perhaps we can describe Marc with a few new words like Platitudinous, which means dull and tiresome but with pretensions of significance or originality – sounds about right. Or my favorite Schpilkis, a Yiddish slang word for hemorrhoids – which I believe to be the perfect description of Mr. Stephens given that he is a real pain in the butt.

  95. Narad says:

    Or my favorite Schpilkis, a Yiddish slang word for hemorrhoids

    I'm not seeing a decent attestation for this sense of shpilkes. I mean, I can see where someone could come up with it, but attributing a primary meaning is a stretch.

  96. I hope that Mr. Stephens doesn't find out about . Then he'd really blow a gasket.

  97. I hope that Mr. Stephens doesn't find out about this site. Then he'd really blow a gasket.

  98. Capt Dingleberry says:

    Is anyone else getting deja vu with Mr Stephens mentioning Ken's avatar being strikingly similar to the Google Map stunt he pulled on Rhys Morgan?

    He's a bell-end of the highest order. Entertaining though.

  99. Michael says:

    "Please keep in mind that you are a Blogger, not a journalist. In addition, you do not represent any party of the matter. So I have no obligation to communicate, or disclose my contractual relationships with an anonymous “Blogger” named Popehat.. and the photo image of your account profile is that of a 5 year old kid"

    I actually am a journalist. Would it help if I asked him?

  100. Hasdrubal says:

    I must admit, I got a chuckle out of "You will not be granted a slapp even if you were a California pimp," grammar problems notwithstanding.

  101. Joe Pullen says:

    Narad, Google is a wonderful invention. Type in Schpilkis – second link down – definition.

  102. JLA Girl says:

    Okay, hopefully this won't sound TOO stupid. But up in the Great White North, every province has a listing that can be searched to determine if someone is a lawyer. Does each state have the same thing? And if so, has the ever charming Mr. Stephens shown up in ANY of them?
    Or is taking the time to look that up in every state giving this guy way too credibility?

  103. JLA Girl says:

    Crud. That should read "way too MUCH credibility."

  104. SPQR says:

    JLA Girl, most states do, no one has found a listing for him yet. And given that he won't answer the question, there is no reason to think we will find one.

  105. Narad says:

    Narad, Google is a wonderful invention. Type in Schpilkis – second link down – definition.

    Urbandictionary-dot-com is not exactly what I meant by "decent attestation."

  106. JLA Girl says:

    Thanks, SPQR. I figured as much but still felt compelled to ask the obvious question.
    But hey, he's not registered in Canada either.

  107. Piper says:

    A different story of a jd posing as a JD:

  108. Joe Pullen says:

    Sorry Narad, I certainly didn't mean to come across as flippant. However, being that Schpilkis is a slang term of limited origin I'm not sure there is by your definition a "decent attestation" as to the definition of the word. Hopefully that does not prevent you or anyone else from enjoying the context of the original comment.

  109. Are "Marc Stephens" and Orly Taitz the same person? They both seem to hold roughly the same defective understanding of the fundamentals of law, and they also both seem to operate with similar levels of BS, bluster and threatening language.
    Just asking…

  110. Ken, be fair: the ignorance on display would be freakish for an attorney, but not for a not-attorney.

    Narad: mea labes ought to be accusative (meam labem) or locative (mea labe), not nominative.

  111. pjcamp says:

    I think you owe me an apology since now I can't unfill my head of this idiocy. That's got to merit some kind of damages.

  112. KronWeld says:

    Well, it has been 3 weeks since Marc said "Hey, I will check back in a few weeks for the retraction or deletion." So, how many weeks in a "few"? Three seems plenty enough. Shouldn't he have filed his lawsuit by now?

  113. Marc is a wuss, KronWeld. He'll talk a big game, but he has NO intention of filing a lawsuit. Because, while he's a LITTLE stupid and COMPLETELY loony tunes, he's not dumb enough to invite the financially-crushing consequences of filing superficially ridiculous lawsuits. He'd get his ass handed to him, and he knows it.

  114. KronWeld says:

    Nonny Moose,

    I'm sure you're right, but I hold out hope that he just might be that stupid. Think of the enterainment! But I would hate that Ken would have to go through the stupidity of it all.

  115. Matt Carey says:

    "Please keep in mind that you are a Blogger, not a journalist"

    When Kathleen Seidel (blogger) was wrongfully subpoenaed a few years back, the judge noted in quashing the subpoena that she was a de-facto journalist.

    It doesn't really apply in this argument, but I don't think his argument makes sense anyway.

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