Innocently, And With No Intent To Cause Any Mischief Whatsoever

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182 Responses

  1. deezerd says:

    BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! ;)

    So what size dice does that one come with? Do you get to create a Lawful Evil Lizard-Cleric? ;)

  2. Thorne says:

    You've doomed us all, you fool!!

  3. ttl says:

    Is thiw one of the new amazon links?

  4. azteclady says:

    *laughing so hard I'm gasping*

  5. doug says:

    i once had Illuminati.

  6. Orbital Mind Control Lasers FTW

  7. Thorne says:

    Sure hope that's a Fieldberry candle…

    A Gooseberry candle can only strengthen She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Saned. ;)

  8. Random Encounter says:

    The James Birch Society attacks the Boy Sprouts for control aided by the Orbital Mind Control Lasers.

  9. Scottf says:

    So, the rumors were true! What dark path have you lured us down?

  10. John David Galt says:

    I play "Things Man Was Not Meant to Know." You're all doooooooomed!!

  11. Octopede says:

    The presence of an unused, decorative candle affirms that Ken likely has a bag of dried potpourri nearby, or is about to become a goth but hasn't yet found the time. I'm guessing it smells of cinnamon or huckleberry.

  12. It's so bad it's good. At a certain point, I'm sure this is going to start feeling like making fun of a person with a disability though (if that isn't exactly what it already is).

  13. Rliyen says:

    I play Murphy's Law.

  14. Angela says:

    You forgot to include a Freemason's apron

  15. Frost says:

    This, sir, is simply brilliant. Bravo.
    *Opens new browser tab. Waits for it….*

  16. W Ross says:

    *sniff sniff* Sometimes you see something so beautiful… that you just can't stand it.

    *holds up a lighter*

  17. Jon says:

    And the best part is the new link at the bottom of the "Authors" section at the top of every page…

  18. firehat says:

    Has anyone alerted the Above Top Secret forums?

  19. @Jan – Dear, dear Auntie Via!

    Did you notice that Ken did not deny dressing in women's clothes? You know what THAT proves, right?

    Oh dear, there just is not enough popcorn in the world.

  20. W Ross says:

    Whatever happens at this point, don't let them know about the Cthulhu initiative… until the harvesting of souls. A=B B=Tau Code: 19119111117771116621. The flower is red.

  21. Chris says:

    My college age son took our 1980s version of Illuminati to play with his friends. They like it so much, he will not return the game!

    And who can forget Steve Jackson Games versus the US Secret Service?

  22. Thorne says:

    "The flower is red."

    There is no spoon.

  23. W Ross says:

    The spoon is with the tall man. How is the weather in Moscow?

  24. Le lansquenet frappe à minuit.

  25. Thorne says:

    The cake is a lie.

  26. Chris R. says:

    My wife is pretty pissed at me now that I began laughing uncontrollably right next to her ear when I saw this. Even then, it's totally worth it.

  27. eigenperson says:

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    (Coincidentally, "By Mouth" is also the name of our chief information officer, here at Oscar-Meyers-Squibb.)

    VIAANGUS is not for everyone. Women who are crazy or may become crazy should not use VIAANGUS. Do not take VIAANGUS with milk or other liquids, because this presents the risk of nasal expulsion. Side effects of VIAANGUS can include temper tantrums, incoherent blogging syndrome (better known as IBS), and terminating sanctions. See your doctor immediately if you experience any of these conditions.

    Ask your doctor about VIAANGUS today!

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  28. Thorne says:

    Lose the 'G'. ;)

  29. Hughhh says:

    i once had Illuminati.

    Robitussin should clear that up.

  30. B says:

    Now, I know I'm new here, but when did we start selling Ubik by its new name?

  31. Ha. I once (indirectly) manipulated the fraternal organization Nixon founded. I can has magic deciphering Illuminati ring now?

  32. John O. says:

    I'm even more amused because of the link in the authors list!

  33. Thorne says:

    All out of Illuminati rings at the moment…

    How about an unlimited supply of Photoshop Penises instead? ;)

  34. desconhecido says:

    Thorene:Lose the 'G'.

    Be careful. You do that you might get sued by Carls, Jr.

  35. PhilG says:

    I would accuse you of being part of Majestic 12 but I'm pretty sure lawyers can't count that high without hiring an accountant. (omglawyerburn)

    On a not-really-more-serious note, someone needs to design a firefox/chrome plugin that makes the nader library site not hurt my eyes so much. There is a lot of funny there but it's in a painfully red box.

  36. C. S. P. Schofield says:

    Random Encounter,

    That would be the Birch John Society.


  37. Rich says:

    Shouldn't that candle be black?

  38. Rich says:


    Nah, the smarter lawyers take off their shoes and socks and we can usually get to twenty.

  39. Alex says:

    I bet we'll hear about this on Tara's forum rather soon.

  40. mojo says:

    Ia! Ia! Cthulhu ftagn!

  41. John says:

    I believe this had the desired effect, almost 2 pages on her forums about Ken now.

  42. Allen says:

    Now that's a marvelous still life, so rich with symbolism. My favorite is the Freemason hint with the biography of Franklin.

    Bravo sir, bravo.

  43. Valerie says:


  44. Valerie says:

    D'oh I pasted the wrong thing.

  45. Rob W. says:

    Have you gained access to the secret world yet? If so…follow the signs in Kingsmouth…lux omnia vincit

  46. mojo says:

    "What an utter whackjob."

    Hey is that any way to talk about a VETERAN?

  47. David says:

    @PhilG If you ever encounter her, your first utterance should be "Flatlander Woman"… just in case!

  48. PhilG says:

    @David Hah! That was totally where I pulled the MJ12 reference from! +1 internets for you.

    @Rich Crafty lawyer tricks I see!

  49. mojo says:

    Poking around (NOT a DOS attack, really!)


  50. Aaron says:

    Ken, I think I found why Charles Carreon got into this whole mess in the first place. Sorry if it's been said before:

    "AN EXCEPTIONAL, HEROIC, OFF-THE-CHARTS, ABSOLUTELY UNHEARD-OF lawyer would be one who took a hit for his client, like Charles did. He completely took all the heat in this matter in order to protect his client. And to stand up for women. There was no way he was going to get out of doing that, while he had ME as a wife."

    So, you see, he did it for the women, and because he was an exceptional, off-the-charts heroic lawyer who just wanted to protect his poor, innocent client, not because he misread a yo-mama joke to his client and decided it was unacceptable levels of butthurt which he must respond to with scary legislation. It all makes sense now.

    Also because his wife told him to.

  51. Aaron says:

    Err, scary litigation. I shouldn't get those two mixed up.

  52. John Ammon says:

    I peed a little.

  53. Random Encounter says:

    Dangit, you made me look, and we were both wrong. It was the Fred Birch Society and not in that edition.

  54. Ken, you speak evil of that which is fair beyond the reach of your thought, and only little wit can excuse you.

  55. M. says:

    If CC really thinks Inman's fat mother painting is sufficiently demeaning to women to call for a lawsuit, the NAACP had better get to work. They have a lot of Internet denizens to sue.

  56. AlphaCentauri says:

    @eigenperson OMG, while reading your post I experienced the nasal expulsion and I wasn't even drinking milk! Should I file a Medwatch report?

  57. Robert White says:

    I once destroyed the pentagon with the Mafia using the power of five (it is the pentagon after all).

  58. Valerie says:

    Oh no! Tara's feeling neglected & writing poetry!

    "I knew you wouldn't be able to stand the honest feedback.
    Just too painful, isn't it?"

    Wow – this poem has references to the usual (Nazis, Communists, The People etc.) + load of bonuses including an Alan Ginsburg reference + hyenas + wikipedia + gratuitious use of "fuck" and, surprizingly an utter lack of self awareness.

    The Cray-Cray just ain't going a-way (see? at least my poetry rhymes)…

    I will bid you all sweet dreams & leave you with this sample to whet your cannibal appitite:

    "We should be ashamed of ourselves.
    Instead of arrogantly putting flags and skulls on our automobiles.
    Obama is just another traitor.
    In a long line of traitors.
    Starting with George Washington.
    Who have corrupted our children.
    And made this world a nightmare.
    Put it on my gravestone.
    Fuck all you violent bastards!"

  59. AlphaCentauri says:

    Is anyone else imagining a sequel to "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest" including a patient character based on Tara?

    But I guess they wouldn't want a patient character who upstages the malingering lead character.

  60. Mark says:

    The American Cancer Society doesn't qualify as a worthwhile recipient of your charitable dollars by the FTC's guidelines, because they don't monitor their fundraisers.

    Holy mother of god. I think she will approach maximum craziness anytime soon.

  61. Valerie says:

    Ok, here goes, I am about to apply some TC Logic and see what I come up with:

    Tara on giving to charities:

    "You're predating on the gambling crowd, just like Glenn Beck predated on the right-wing Republicans in the Goldline scam. They didn't know what fucking hit them. It was just Glenn Beck, their hero!"

    Ready? Ok tinfoil thinking cap is on, F-word & frivolous rape references set to maximum.

    +Glen Beck was a rapist hero of the fucking Republican party, who, as a fucking mainstream political party of rapists, must necessarily be pawns of the mother fucking Illuminati.

    +Glen Beck wrote a fucking book "inspired by Thomas Paine."

    +Tara's fucking reeducation camp begins with reading Thomas Paine.

    +Thus, Tara's fucking reeducation camp begins with reading Glenn Beck's fucking book.

    +Thus, Tara is a hero of the fucking Republican rapist party.

    +Thus, Tara is part of the mother-fucking, raping Illuminati conspiracy.

    +Thus, Tara rapes & conspires against her-fucking-self.


    This is your brain on Carreon. Any questions?

  62. Mark says:

    Wow, reading the examination by CC here is infuriating.

    Basically, someone browses to get to an image that was forwarded to him. American-Budda does not protect any of its pages. However, it seems that CC expects that guy to somehow "register" before attempting to read something that is completely freely available on the Internet, and accuses that guy of trying to "get around" the membership requirement to browse American-Buddha.

    What a douchebag.

  63. Mark says:

    CC is also a frivolous man — and a douchebag in its rapport with everybody else.

    BY MR. CARREON: And there is definitely — I mean, this is, like, theoretical, but if you were sued because of what happened on August 1 and August 2, would you turn to the city and say, well, please defend me?

    MS. O'KASEY: I object to the form of the question. It calls for a legal conclusion as well. If you can answer, answer. If you don't know the answer, tell him that.

    THE WITNESS: I do not know.

    BY MR. CARREON: You do not know what you would do if you were sued?

    A That is correct.

    Q Okay. Well, why is that?

    MS. O'KASEY: I object and instruct you not to answer. Counsel, this has nothing to do with this lawsuit.

    MR. CARREON: It has everything to do with it, Counsel, but don't use up my transcript. If you want to chatter with me, let's go off the record and we can chatter extensively.

    MS. O'KASEY: I would like my objection on the record, that's all. I'm entitled to it.

    MR. CARREON: Let's try to keep them brief; they are expensive to me.

    MS. O'KASEY: You chose to bring the lawsuit, Counsel, not the city of Ashland, so the expenses related to that are a choice that you —

    MR. CARREON: I'm going to bill you for every frivolous word; okay?

    MS. O'KASEY: If you would like to ask a question relevant to the lawsuit, that would be good.

    MR. CARREON: And I'm going to bill you for that because that was definitely frivolous.

  64. Valerie says:

    @ Mark Wow.

  65. Chris R. says:

    Mark, a censor is going to try to censor.

  66. Mark says:

    And, I just stumbled on yet-another-religion by CC while googling for case 1:2006-CV-03054-PA.

    How many religions these guys have???

  67. Jess says:

    Well TC is on the cray cray wagon again.

    It starts with a kidnapping.
    Then a drugging.
    And progresses to indoctrination in Thomas Paine, Lucretius, and Ralph Nader.
    And yes, even to Charles Carreon.
    One of the better minds of our sad era.
    Unfortunately, he's not a woman.

    Kenneth Paul White — I fucking hate you.
    You are shit on my list.

    So she is bored with Inman and has found a new target.

    You and that Robert Anton Wilson clown.
    You worthless pieces of shit!
    You little joiner, you.
    You don't have an original bone in your body, you big, fat imitating monkey.
    You got to be part of the Illuminati, the big, fat, tough guys.
    Why don't you go bribe another reporter to tell lies for you?
    With the money you get from taking bribes, of course!
    You're not a lawyer, you're a nightmare.
    You and your little friend, Marc Randazza Pimp Hand.
    Fuck you!

    Oh no, we Illuminati are nightmare fat tough guys with pimp hands! Either that or we’re the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man.

    Time to light the campfire and grab some chocolate bars and graham crackers.

  68. Valerie says:

    Is that from an actual transcript?

    Also, definitely = theoretical?

  69. Pete says:

    I often wondered why TC believes Popehat is linked to the Illuminati. Tonight I learned that one of TC's least favorite people, Robert Anton Wilson (author of the Illuminatus Trilogy), was involved in and actively promoted the Discordianism Society. Note that one of the five degrees of Discordianism is "Pope", and Robert Anton Wilson's first gesture when taking the stage would be to declare everyone within the audience to be ordained Discordian Popes. Clearly this is indisputable proof that Ken is an Illuminatus disciple of Robert Anton Wilson.

    TC – please accept my apologies for having thought you were irreparably deranged. Just kidding; I still think you're batshit crazy.

  70. John Ammon says:

    @Jess – To be fair, I don't think she's ever been off the wagon.

  71. Valerie says:

    Ok, I see that it is in fact an actual transcript. Can any actual lawyer comment on whether or not the language / demeanor he employs during the deposition is standard? I mean the level of snarky condescension seems high for something going on the record, but IANAL.

  72. Mark says:

    @Valerie, yeah sorry — should have linked to that transcript as well.

    The entire case (AB vs city of Ashland) is cringe-worthy; in particular his email exchange with the Google lawyer. I had to stop reading otherwise I would have broken by teeth due to the pressure I was applying to them.

  73. M. says:

    My favorite part is that the candle is obviously brand-new. Ken, you scoundrel.

  74. Shannon Lynch says:

    If a lawyer talked to me like that to get answers out of me I would ask to be held in contempt. It is normal to speak to witnesses like that?

  75. Valerie says:

    Excuse me, I would like to, um, adjourn here for a moment while I regain my composure.

    I'm shocked!

  76. Shannon Lynch says:

    lol that was funny! my favorite part was when he went "Do you want to ask him to speculate? It seemed to work the last time."

    Caricature lawyer=Charles Carreon

  77. Mark says:

    Oh and TC's latest poems sound a little SLAPP-y…

    Aren't nice legal letters preferable to all this?
    I'll take them any day.
    A nice day in court.
    Where everyone listens.

  78. dex says:

    Tara styles herself as strong and independent, but she obviously depends on Charles absolutely for all things, is overawed by him, and wouldn't make it here in the real world on her own for a day. Sweetie, you're pathetic.

  79. Satirical Tara Carreon says:

    Am not!

  80. dex says:

    Get a job!

  81. Satirical Tara Carreon says:

    Are you hiring? Especially if it's a job where I can just kinda coast and write things on the Internet. I can do art for you too, and I'm well versed in the arts of erotic massage.

    I'll work for minimum wage, but I'm not real good with petty cash or company computers so just know there will be… expenses.

  82. dex says:

    I'll pay you a hundred dollars an hour to stand in the freeway at night draped in a black sheet.

  83. Myk says:

    @Rich – A little late to the party, but FWIW, most lawyers could take off their shoes & socks and count to at least 23, in my reckoning. Present company excepted, of course. But then there's Ken. And Patrick.

  84. M. says:

    Satirical Tara Carreon, c/o the Department of Redundancy Department.*

    *I'm being facetious, please do carry on.

  85. Chris R. says:

    Satirical Tara Carreon joins the axis of evil:

  86. Thorne says:

    I've got a poem for Tara…

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    You're a twat
    The End

  87. Satirical Tara Carreon says:


    Roses are red
    Ambulances are white
    If you come near my gate…
    I'll shoot at you in the night.

  88. Valerie says:

    Humm. I am fine with calling out the stoopid, crazy, and hypocritical but I don't think we should be implying that any of the Carreons should die or harm themselves.

    They are self-righteous, frivolous lawsuit loving gun nuts, but they are also human beings and asking them to go stand on the highway in a black sheet at night, for instane, even as a joke, strikes me as inappropriate. (Not to mention that it lends credibility to the idea that all their critics are violent and barbaric.) Mocking their crazy prose and behavior is one thing, but it seems to me that this sort of thing goes too far.

    Disclaimer: I am just stating my opinion. I don't run this site and I don't want to get into a flame war on this topic.

  89. Valerie says:

    TC has a recent post that, to summarize, points out that they do not live and extravagant life and do good things like plant trees and show solidarity with the poor. She concludes by saying:

    "What are you going to do with the truth? Ridicule it?"

    No, at least I'm not. If you are reading this Tara, everything you just described is good. I am glad you care about the poor. I am glad that you plant trees. But you are missing the point. The fact that I find much of your behavior and rhetoric offensive does not mean that I find all other parts of your life risible.

    What you don't seem to understand is that your critics are not angry at you for planting trees or owning a Prius or identifying with the poor.

    I can believe that some of what you do and say is true & good, and that other things you do & say are false and/or bad.

    I am angry at you for the way you talk about & treat people you disagree with and at your husband for abusing the legal system to attack people who have hurt his feelings. I participate in mocking your blog because I find much of what you say hypocritical and douchey. For instance:

    ++ You do not attempt to speak about your critics / opponents in a politie tone, yet you expect to be treated politely.

    ++ You do not want your speech silenced, yet you seek to silence others.

    ++ You want to be free to photoshop Ann Coulter's head on a plate and say "You'll get yours bitch," and yet you would condemn Matt Inman for creating a cartoon pterodactyl ripping the head off a crudely drawn person.

    Lastly, you assume that anyone who says something bad about you is part of an evil conspiracy or a fool or a gullible child. I am none of those things, nor are most other critics / satirists. Most of us are educated adults who are capable of making reasoned decisions about what behaviors and ideas we like and dislike & how we choose to express our opinions.

    It must be comforting to assume all your critics (Occupy Tuscon or the Nader campaign, for instance) are stupid puppets in a grand conspiracy – otherwise you might have to conclude that at least some of the ill will directed at you is caused by your own actions.

    You have been mocked, not because you drive a Prius and live in a regular house, but because your (and Charles') legal and online behavior is abhorrent to many people.

    Speaking of which, in the US, The People includes all of us. I am part of The People, but you don't speak or act for me, any more than I speak for you or act on your behalf. How many rotton apples have justified themselves by claiming to act for the good of "The People" or "das Volk."

  90. Thorne says:

    Right back at'cha, STC…

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Once I figure out how many words constitutes "frivolous"
    I'mma bill you.

    (This is fun…)

  91. mojo says:

    "…but IANAL."

    That must make you real popular in… certain circles.

  92. Satirical Tara Carreon says:

    Yeah, that's right! Come at us, bros. You are all pudding eating, Rita ignoring Chinese-ComuBots.

    As I say here in my new post, Charles wouldn't even hurt a fly. He's basically a human tractor.

    Now please enjoy his new Party Rock Anthem.

  93. Satirical Tara Carreon says:


    Roses are red, and you give them to a hottie…
    I don't like you…
    Because you're ILLUMINATI!!!

    Don't you ever dance back at me Thorne, cause then it's ON. I'm going to Poetry serve you, you little Nihilist!

  94. Thorne says:

    Oh, yeah…..?!

    Apples are picked,
    While potatoes are dug.
    The Carreons invented Oestia…
    Sounds like an erectile dysfunction drug.

  95. Satirical Tara Carreon says:


    Oh yeah?!?!

    Coins are silver,
    But oranges are orange.
    … awww, fuck.

  96. W Ross says:

    "We live in one of the poorest neighborhoods in Tucson out of solidarity to our poor brothers and sisters (we bought our house for $170,000), and we own one Prius."

    170,000 dollar house and a 26,000 dollar car isn't poor. It's not even solidarity with poor-poor. Go live in section 8 housing, ride the bus, and eat most of your meals at McDonalds because you live in a food desert and then tell me how "totally slummin" you are.

    You're doing just fine, and you'll continue to do fine (even after the the judgments from the publishers and record companies.) There are a lot of clients who need a lawyer with no sense of right and wrong or moral responsibility, so the Carreons will never starve.

    Sorry your butt hurts, though.

    *Hands TC a cushion.*

  97. W Ross says:

    Also, Mattew Inman has a whole section now, so it's much easier to browse the butthurt.

  98. Valerie says:

    @ W Ross

    I agree they are inflating their "man of the people" credentials, but I think that if we focus on that, it undermines the core reason these guys are asshats and worthy of contempt. Abusing the legal system & grossly hypocritical blogging behavior is more of the issue, no?

    I mean, if they were just middle class posers, I seriously doubt that any of us would find them interesting enough to mock or criticize. Doesn't their unique butthurt stem from more egregious behaviors than claiming unearned street cred?

    Shorty had them apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur. End transmission.

  99. W Ross says:

    @Valerie You could certainly write posts to that effect if you wish to do so, I'm certainly not stopping you ;).

  100. Grifter says:

    And, for the record, they live nowhere near the poorest sections of Tucson. I live in one of the poorer sections, though it's not out of fricking solidarity (My house cost less than half theirs, fwiw). They live near the local military base (so, not super rich, but certainly no ghetto).

  101. M. says:

    (Ben Folds Five – Rockin' the Suburbs)
    (Everclear – Volvo Driving Soccer Mom)

    Trust me, being a middle class poser offers plenty of fodder for derision.

  102. M. says:

    Ah, my comment is awaiting moderation. I'm telling the ACLU you violated my First Amendment rights! *runs away sobbing*

  103. Valerie says:

    @ W. Ross

    I know. I've appreciated your comments and satire in the magical Carreon wonderland on Popehat. I'm just trying to wax all philosophical n' shit.

    Seriously, though, I am genuinely curious about your opinion – do you think its legit / prudent to go after this aspect of their lives? I mean there is so much more pertinent crazy and hypocrisy to wallow in.

    Personally, I have many sane and mostly nice friends who have been posers taking pride in their "solidarity" with the masses – hell, I was a middle class poser back in the day :) (My mother grew up on welfare & my adopted sister is black – Regrettably, I have whipped both facts out to try to gain instant cred, despite my own white bread upbringing.)

    Also, thank you for pointing out that the cray-cray butthurt has been indexed for posterity. Certainly adds to the gravitas of this farce. ;)

  104. W Ross says:

    I think if you believe there are certain parameters, you ought to follow them.

  105. dex says:


    Fair enough. Feel free to address me directly tho. Unless you just don't talk to barbarians.

    @Satirical Tara

    l'll pay you one dollar an hour to stand at the side of the freeway on a hot day gyrating with a billboard that advertises your husband as America's shittiest internet lawyer.

  106. Chris R. says:

    I think her using her social status (wealthy, poor, or in between) as to why they are decent people is inline with her other posts of somehow being sinless and part of all that is good in this world. I don't think poor or wealthy people are inherently good or evil. I don't think judging people by class is any less prejudice then by ethnicity, sex, religion etc. I also find it odd that they "live there to show solidarity" but not because of any other reasons. Also, no one who owns their own home and drives a Prius is poor.

  107. M. says:

    @dex and Satirical Tara: And I'll pay you $500 if you wear Ellie Gonsalves' "Tomb Raider" bikini while doing so.

  108. Valerie says:

    @ Dex Sorry about that – I was using it as an example and didn't want it to come off as a personal attack on you. Obviously that didn't work (face palm).

    @ Chris R. More than anything, the whole episode reminded me or this, from fat, sequinned, 70s Elvis:

    I agree with you on the Prius point & good / evil point ($170,000 for a house also struck me as solidly middle class). I guess I just see the "solidarity with the poor" BS as both eye-rollingly obnoxious and commonplace (Free Tibet stickers anyone?), but I do see your point about class prejudice – it is another example of her painting a group with a very wide brush.

    In other news, as promised, Tara has her first draft of Matt Inman as Rueda crapping out demons (accompanied, naturally, by some hypocritical nonsense of Inman pissing off Tibetan Buddhists). I cannot wait to see the finished piece in full technicolor!

  109. Valerie says:

    I don't understand why everyone is offering Tara money to do something crazy – she does that shit for free.

  110. AlphaCentauri says:

    I suspect the slum-quotient of Charles and Tara's neighborhood depends less on the price of the houses and more on the type of people who are willing to live near the Carreons. One house full of crazy people with firearms will chase away most people who don't fall in to the same demographic. Tucson probably needs a special zoning code just for them.

  111. Jess says:

    @Valerie – I seem to recall another person on another thread making the statement of f*ck you and f*ck your horse and someone else then talking about the aspect of making sexual congress with a horse. Looks like TC is becoming an avid Popehat reader as the latest dreadful cartoon she has on the site appears to be depicting just that.

  112. AlphaCentauri says:

    I wonder if it has any roots in ancient Indo-European horse sacrifices. The horse would symbolize the universe or the earth goddess, and the king or queens in would symbolically marry the horse before it was sacrificed as a sign of sovereignty. (In one area of Ireland the king may have literally copulated with the horse.) In that context, "to f*** you and f*** your horse" would express absolute dominance over a rival.

  113. M. says:

    I prefer the local variation "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on."

  114. Valerie says:

    @Alpha Cen?turi I'm sure that a crazy lady screeching at her neighbors and shooting at CIA buddhists lowers property values. Although… Any idea what houses near Ted Nuget go for? Maybe they could all get together and have their very own gated community.

  115. Valerie says:

    Where can I buy one of the brain ballerinas to spin in my frontal lobes and make me whole instead of a communist? TC didn't post an address to mail to OR how many proofs of purchase of Chas crappy book I'd need.

  116. dex says:

    I hope that someday Charles and Tara do a Christmas album.

  117. Valerie says:

    I wouldn't hold my breath on that Christmas album. These are people who (no joke) tried to get Barnes and Noble (& the Hollywood Mafia) to stop playing carols them in the background. They would punch Frosty's face off and then stab Santa in the nuts with that carrot noes.

  118. dex says:

    I bet if you could peek into Tara's mind it would be like that scene in Event Horizon where you get a sudden horrific glimpse of a cannibalistic space orgy.

  119. John Ammon says:

    You're probably spot-on dex.

  120. dex says:

    Just a flash of blood-soaked naked astronauts screaming and retching and then you wake up on your back pale and traumatized.

  121. Mark says:

    Doe v. Carreon has been assigned to Judge Cousins and a case mgmt conf was set for Oct. But Carreon / his counsel hasn't made an appearance yet. Hmmm.

  122. Mark says:

    Oops my bad. "Case reassigned to Judge Hon. Richard Seeborg for all further proceedings."

  123. John Ammon says:

    It burns usssss!

  124. Myk says:

    @Valerie "Any idea what houses near Ted Nuget go for? Maybe they could all get together and have their very own gated community." One with the locks on the outside of the gates.

  125. Ara Ararauna says:

    *gasps for air* OK, I've reached my hilarity cap for today, I think I broke mine rib… Guys, keep up the good work with the posts. They are so epic that are able to collapse lungs, seriously.

    *wielding the Dagger of Alacrity +3, rolls 2d20 to attempt 'Steal' on 'Nixonland' book*

  126. Hughhh says:

    When someone asks me where I live, I say, "I live in an arroyo, I live in a flower."

    There's also a self-portrait and a self-photo (?) now up, at the link posted by Valerie.


  127. Thorne says:

    "Don't Forget 2 Hate"….??

    This from the person who wrote "Kenneth Paul White — I fucking hate you!"…?

    Tara must draw herself little 'Note to Self' reminders instead of using Post-It Notes like a normal human being.

    Oh, right…

  128. S. Weasel says:

    Self portrait(s) posted today. I'm telling you guys, these people are acid casualties (which rather takes the fun out of watching them flame out).

  129. Valerie says:

    Ok, so the nudie pic is strange, but I don't think its a self-portrait (because she didn't label it "Self-Portrait" like the one below).

    The self portrait with the parrot is reasonably good, although it looks like the kinds of stuff my sister did in AP Art.

    As for Tara 2012, its yet more proof that most white people look dumb in dreds.

  130. Valerie says:

    Anyone else think she's still posting under the Inman / Ken / illuminati thread because she finally has an audience for her "art?"

  131. dex says:

    She looks like a naked grandmother in a dung hat.

  132. Mark says:

    She is a master troll, c'mon.

  133. W Ross says:

    She's got DREADS?!?!

    Why am I not surprised.

  134. John Ammon says:

    Why am I reminded of the episode of Archer where Pam Poovy has dreads after being deported from Jamaica…

  135. Valerie says:

    She's harping on Angus again. I guess she still hasn't figured that out.

    She is also fantasizing about spanking our collective asses, which is quite creepy when described thusly: "With a smile on my face I am WAILING on your soft and tender ass[es]! Some random crap about Jung and the FDA as well.

    Thanks Tara. I was starting to miss my daily dose of carreon cray cray.

  136. Grifter says:


    I like "usually the FIRST thing that comes out in the news is the most true, not the second, recanted version"…because as we all know, Dewey defeated Truman, and Obamacare was struck down by the Supreme Court.

    And I figure she knows that cows are actually deep philosophers. And wasn't Son of Sam a dog?

  137. M. says:

    As a great Dutch woman once quipped: "…and I said to myself: 'WTF?'"

  138. dex says:

    Love Tar Tar's calls for civility, dialogue, and the pursuit of truth through rigorous study and reflection. The fact that she is a rude and incoherent pseudo-intellectual and as reflective as a vampire doesn't bother me at all.

  139. Valerie says:

    Oh Angus, Tara is crying out for you to explain Carl Jung in your soothing meliflious moos. Go to her!

    "Would someone tell me what Jung is talking about here? I need a little help, Angus at, to interpret the meaning of this passage, which is beyond me [crazy ramblings and out do context quotes]…
    And if your explanation, Angus, is severely occulted, as I'm sure is your wont, don't you think that talking like this, as a lot of crazy Rosicrucians do, creates dangerous confusion? What if someone misses part of the "wisdom commentary"?"

  140. Susan says:

    Minor point – Son of Sam was David Berkowitz, Sam was the dog.

  141. Grifter says:


    So, it was an offhand comment in furtherance of a joke, but since you brought it up, my natural nosy instincts kicked in and I decided to look it up (since I knew pretty much nothing but the dog bit):

    Apparently the "Sam" had no bearing on the dog, the dog was incidental. I guess "Sam Carr" was his landlord, and he thought his landlord was host to a powerful demon. The dog who issued orders was the landlord's dog, and the dog's name was Harvey, which just makes me think of Jimmy Stewart, now.

    The more you know!

  142. David Canon says:

    Can I suggest leaving this poor woman alone from now on.

    I've just caught up with Oatmeal story (holiday got in the way of keeping up with the drama). At first I found it all quite amusing, the Carreons seemed a little peculiar (and perhaps somewhat deluded), and they did seem to somewhat deserve the backlash they got.
    Now I am concerned that Tara has had some kind of breakdown. I'm certainly not a psychiatrist, but I can't help but feel the writings on the Nader Library must indicate something. Anyone qualified feel like commenting?

    I think perhaps it's time to stop visiting the Nader Library for the entertainment value of it. Perhaps without the attention/number of site hits, she'll retreat back into the land of the somewhat sane.

  143. n o 0 n e says:

    that damned kid is at it again::

    some one light the charles signal!

  144. Hughhh says:

    Very OTT of me to re-post this here, but I do believe that one of the comments on The Oatmeal's new Tesla page bears repeating:

    Joe Huang
    As an American, who is Slobodan Milosevic? I'd say Tesla is THE most famous Serb. Then the guy who shot Archduke Ferdinand.

  145. Hughhh says:

    Somebody posted on the "Part X" comment thread, a request that the Nader Library somehow be made easier to read. Short of writing a script to perform on-the-fly translations from Taraspeak to English, I figured an easier, quasi-solution was to make the colours and fonts a bit less offensive.

    To that end I've found a Google Chrome extension which seems to do a fair job. The extension is called Change Colors (I'm not linking to the install page to sidestep Popehat's two-or-more-links spam filter). With about a minute's tweaking, my browser now displays said Library pages thusly: click!

    I've shrunk the screenshot down from 1280 wide to 600 using MS Office Picture Manager, so it looks quite horribly pixelated and evil. The actual result, in all its full-size glory, looks less so.

    Those attempting to keep up with Carr[dash?]eons may wish to check it out. :)

  146. Hughhh says:

    Could the Popehat Illuminati (perhaps Viaangus) please fix my broken screencap link?

  147. Valerie says:

    Sooooo…. Tara is still writing about how the Oatmeal is corrupting the youth and causing every shooting that happens anywhere (but at least she's crediting him for the cartoons she's posting). All this crap interspersed with rants about Fascists, random screen shots w/ subtitles, random Carl Jung (which we all know ViaAngus supports and must answer for), and miscellaneous indecipherable bull shit and cursing.

  148. W Ross says:

    Look at it, Charles and Tara. That's 266,000 more dollars, and you can't touch a penny of it. It's all going to Science. Doesn't that burn, that in less than 12 hours Oatmeal can make that much money just appear? Want to know a secret?


    (Fuck Edison.)

  149. John Ammon says:

    I think Matthew has found his calling… making awesome fundraisers!

  150. W Ross says:

    You know that somewhere Charles Carreon is considering donating, then finding some obscure law that he can then use to shoehorn his way as a trustee.

    "It uh… violates New York Law to… umm… JUST GIVE ME THE MONEY! GIVE IT TO ME! GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW! I TRIED SO FUCKING HARD AND GOT NOTHING, YOU GIVE ME THAT GODDAMNED MONEY, MATTHEW… I'm sorry…. terrible sorry about that… what I meant to say was that since this is a Historic site, it needs additional oversite, and as someone who donated five American Dollars and a long time fan of Nicolas Tesberg, I really think FUCKING GIVE IT TO ME! GIVE IT! I HUNGER FOR ALL THAT SWEET STICKY CURRENCY.." and so on…

  151. PhilG says:

    @Hughhh Brilliant, I made a request before and I'll go try out your idea right now

  152. W Ross says:

    Tara's posted some more rambling lunacy about how more of society should worship her crying mother-vagina… or something. Seems blissfully unaware that more than $536,000 dollars has now been raised for Tesla.

    I like how she's made the only thread people care about on her site her dream journal now, and then she adds "with Matthew Inman" or "well, Angus from Popehat?" the way people add "in bed" to their fortunes.

  153. Valerie says:

    @ Adam S I couldn't get a movie, only the mp3.. I was expecting a rousing hate fest like Psycho Santa or Pterodactyl Killa.

    Turns out, Charles thinks he can channel James Taylor and give us a poignant, heartfelt, hateful, soft-rock ballad about how everyone is working for the CIA. (If Tara wrote it, it would be about how everyone was working for the Carl Jung). He has learned to use a microphone, more or less. Kudos Charles!

    Does any one know how Doe vs Satirical Carreon is proceeding? Is it still making its way through the courts.

  154. W Ross says:

    He seems like a rape-ier Mr. Rogers.

  155. Valerie says:

    @ W Ross – thanks, although aside from Charles bad miming & the randomly placed sitar in the background, I'm not sure what the video adds to the nonsensical lyrics. Also, it is definitely not a beautiful day in the Carreon's neighborhood, especially if you are a CIA Buddhist near their property.

  156. Valerie says:

    Does anyone know if satirical charles case (Doe v. Carreon?) suit is still on?

  157. Mark says:

    @ Valerie,

    I've been following that suit through

    Interestingly enough there CC or his counsel has not made an appearance yet.

  158. Valerie says:

    @ Mark Does that mean its likely over and done with or just that Carreon is stalling.

  159. Valerie says:

    I'm just curious. I am wondering how much shit Charlie still has to clean off his shoes…

  160. dex says:

    God, what a loser.

  161. Robin Sijbesma says:

    First, it is I, Nibor (Sypher).

    @W Ross, read the piece, but what is wrong with CC (how can I ask this stupid question) if I am reading it right, CC wrote a letter to the management of Doe's workplace (obvious to get him fired) that's low.

    And Doe making himself now publically known as Chris, takes the sting out of that part of the leverage that CC could think he had.

    But he still manages to surprise me as how big a douchbag he is.

  162. Robin Sijbesma says:

    With the douchbag part I of course referred to CC

  163. John Ammon says:

    I love how she takes all of his horrible greeting cards (who's purpose are to be horrible) out of context and examines them without the intended hyperbole.

  164. Valerie says:

    This is not a family that understands irony at all. Had she read Swifts A Modest Proposal, she'd have declared him an Al Capp Hitler Stalin Jared Longer and capped his ass like it was a CIA buddhist…

    As for the Inman monster thing, she promised that inspired piece quite a while ago – gettin' lazy Tara.

    What's up with the snakes?

  165. Joe Pullen says:

    I suspect that Charlie, being the coward he is, has been dodging getting served. Probably been hiding behind Tara's skirts on in some yurt up on a mountainside.

  166. W Ross says:

    Tara suggests we all boycott the entire Internet, because her friends aren't more popular on Facebook.

  167. Valerie says:

    @W Ross – I see she added a fancy border to her Matt Inman LSD "art."

    Beginning to get boring – just more "'come and see the violence inherent in the system! 'elp! 'elp! I'm being repressed!" from someone with a massive ego and no self awareness.

    Funniest comment (other than the change to the forum's title, which I nearly missed) = "Matt Inman's people made thousands of bad reviews about Charles' book, "The Sex.Com Chronicles," on Amazon. Obviously, a thousand people didn't read the book and give it a fair assessment." – Obviously, because I seriously doubt 1000 people have read the book period.

    Still, consider the good that has come from this – more than $200,000 for bears and cancer and a brand new Tesla museum. Thanks Carreons, you have managed to inadvertently do good for humanity!

  168. Mark says:

    If I were affiliated (and had a time machine), I would highly recommend TC's site to the Church of Subgenius's classic "High Weirdness by Mail" collection

  169. Robin Sijbesma says:

    yes it is Nibor,

    @ W Ross I reacted on your comment (Aug 23, 2012 @12:55 am) but Ken's well earned hiatus kept it in moderation, because I am now using my own name. so a ICYMI.

  170. Mark says:

    Whoa — just saw this post over at Censorious Douchebag:

    Holy shit, I know this sounds repetitious, but god, how much of a douche can someone be?

  171. Mark says:

    So, according to this:

    CC had 21 days to respond to the lawsuit counting from Aug 3rd, otherwise the "judgement by default will be entered against you for the relief demanded in the complaint."

    Does this mean that Doe v Carreon is over?

  172. Mark says:

    Ah, looks like the party moved elsewhere! No wonder it was quiet in here. Thanks @V.

  1. July 26, 2012

    […] of refraction of light off the ocean, if that was true on land the sky would be brown or green. Stupid Illuminati lies. You don't need teachers to teach you, you can read books and go to Nader Library for all […]