In Which I Dare Not Even Say The Word

re: GREAT ARTICLE!
From: [email protected]

Hi!

I stumbled across your blog and noticed the great content you write. Over the last few months I've been researching and writing about (hearing loss, healthy lifestyles, aging, etc) and decided to begin blogging about it. With hunting season right around the corner I thought it would be a great time to highlight and focus on how you can protect your hearing and prevent hearing loss while hunting. I am very passionate about these issues, and since October was National Audiology Awareness Month and National Protect Your Hearing Month, I feel that it is important to continue to spread awareness. I'm wondering if you ever accept guest posts on those topics? If so, I would be happy to send you an article to review. Please let me know what you think, thanks!

Best,
John

John:

We might well be interested. My question is whether you can tailor your article to discuss protecting your hearing not just during ANY hunting, but when hunting the most terrifying and dangerous game of all.

Please advise.

Ken
www.popehat.com

Last 5 posts by Ken White

Comments

  1. says

    It's a balancing act, isn't it? I mean, you have to protect your hearing, but you still have to be able to hear what your opponent… erm, your prey… is doing.

  2. Dictatortot says

    Before giving the most dangerous prey his 30-minute lead, I like to invite him to table, give him a snifter of brandy, and engage in suave, mildly villainous verbal repartee for an hour or two. Really takes the ear-damaging edge off their vocal cords for later.

  3. ZK says

    Did we get this idea from Road To Popehat's "Silenced Pistol Hunting" a few weeks back?

    Because I certainly someone else may have had that idea…

  4. ElSuerte says

    While 'Eye Little Pony' is weapons grade nightmare fuel, there is worse lurking in the dark corners of the world.

    My friends, the most terrifying and dangerous game of all is, in fact, something called "pony play." Google at your own risk to. Remember: what has been seen, cannot be unseen.

  5. Boxy says

    The most messed up thing I've seen today is now a toss up between photographs of "pony play" and the presidential platform of Jack Fellure. Thanks, ElSuerte!

  6. Jonah says

    So, you've hunted big game in Africa, moved on to spearfishing for great whites, and now you're ready for a real challenge. You have decided to fly in the face of sanity and tackle the most terrifying and dangerous animal of them all. A beast so awful that some fear merely to speak its name. I refer, of course, to the pony. While pony hunting is fool-hardy in the extreme, my purpose is not to dissuade you (I assume that your family and friends will already have tried, to no avail), but to give you the information you will need to have some chance of surviving the experience.

    Given the pony's fearsome reputation, it may seem temping to try to pick one off from the relative safety of a blind, but hunting ponies in this way is not recommended. In pony country, hunting blinds have a disturbing tendency to be crushed by falling trees or struck by lightning, invariably killing anyone inside. Some will dismiss this as mere superstition, but I was unable to find a single account of a successful pony hunt conducted from a blind. Experienced pony hunters have told me that ponies seem to possess a strange sense of honor, and will sometimes allow the hunter who has demonstrated sufficient bravery to remove his or her trophy unmolested, while those who display cowardice are trampled unmercifully. In other words, you need to meet the pony, unflinching, on her own turf.

    Ponies are know for their stealth and ability to blend into their environment. They also tend to travel in packs. If you see one pony, their are probably at least 10 more nearby you haven't spotted yet. They may already have you surrounded. This is why, when hunting ponies, you should always try to have something solid at your back, such as a steep bank, cliff face, or large tree (or, in a pinch, a larger, slower hunting companion).

    Once you have spotted your target, it is essential to strike quickly and accurately. Ponies may be small, but they're tough, and will attack with lightning speed. You are unlikely to have time for a second shot. And remember, the pony's friends are probably nearby, and hungry. While some maintain that true pony hunters hunt exclusively with bow and arrow, most experts I spoke to recommend a large caliber rifle, especially for your first hunt. And that brings us to the subject of ear protection.

    When firing a large caliber gun, effective ear protection is essential to prevent hearing loss. You could use simple ear plugs, but the hunters I spoke to were near-unanimous in recommending adaptive hearing protection. It may cost a little more, but you'll need all your senses when pursuing these monsters, and being able to hear when you need to could mean the difference between a successful hunt and never being heard from again. We recommend XQi SmartEars 4000 (available now for just $399), but hunters on a budget may want to check out the less robust, but cheaper, SmartEars 2500SD.

    Remember, ponies are vicious, deadly creatures, but with the right equipment and training you should have up to a 75 percent chance of surviving your first hunt, and with the right ear protection you can come through with 100 percent of your hearing intact. One final piece of advice: as a last resort, you can always climb a tree, but, while ponies can't climb trees, they are very, very patient.

    So what about it, can I do a guest post?

    (Note: product names are made up. Any resemblance to actual product names is entirely coincidental.)

  7. Gordon Clason says

    With regard to "dangerous game", Will Rogers said, "There should be one day a year, just one, when it's open season on Senators." I don't think he was talking about baseball players.

  8. James Pollock says

    Gordon, I recommend H. Beam Piper's "Lone Star Planet", which I believe is available free from Amazon's Kindle store. (To grossly oversimplify the story, "He was a known politician" is an affirmative defense to both assault and murder. Piper's best known novel, "Little Fuzzy", also revolves around a court case. While not quite in the same literary range as "To Kill a Mockingbird", it IS one of the best science fiction novels of the 1960's. Also available free from the Kindle store.)