If you voted Obama
WOO PARTAY. Let's all get baked at gay weddings! Seriously dudes, that was awesome. Have a frosty mug of [GOP] tears on the house. Did you see Karl Rove on Fox? Or Donald Trump on Twitter? Holy CRAP, someone needs a hug.
Now calm the fuck down. Remember how shitty you all felt when Bush won in 2004? Be classy, don't be an asshole.
If you voted Romney
I told you to just play Halo 4! It's a great game. You would have had a better time then buying that stupid banner and all those American flags. Now what you do have, besides hurt feelings and a box of bitchin' July 4th Party Stuff? But look at it this way, at least you didn't have a total meltdown on national TV like Karl Rove. Or Donald Trump on Twitter. Wow. Dude, I've seen North Koreans react more rationally.
Now calm the fuck down, remember how shitty you feel now? That's how the other side felt in 2004. Be classy, don't be an asshole.
If you voted for Gary Johnson
You should already be drunk, and I salute you.
If you played Halo 4
It ain't bad right? It made a lot of interesting improvements. Plus it's already great to just mow down the Covenent and n00bs again.
If you're Nate Silver
You are a God.
Last 5 posts by Derrick
- Whether in a car or on a horse / We don't mind using excessive force - April 23rd, 2013
- No Shit - March 28th, 2013
- Ask Popehat! - January 7th, 2013
- Popehat Official Post-Election Day Reaction Guide - November 6th, 2012
- Happy Halo 4 Release Day! - November 6th, 2012