Petitioning The Government For Redress of Very, Very Stupid Grievances
A stroll through some petitions on Whitehouse.gov:
"Legally recognize Westboro Baptist Church as a hate group," with more than 2000 votes. Dear Andrew D. of Sacramento, California: "legally recognize them as a hate group" under what statute? You're thinking that they get classified as a "hate group," and then they can't be douchebags any more, right? Under which statute, again? Can't think of it? BECAUSE THERE ISN'T ONE, YOU MORON. There's no generic "hate group" statute that permits blanket censorship. Thank God.
Restore Objectivity and Fairness to Our Media — oh, this should be good — with 2400 votes. "The 1st amendment of the US Constitution guarantees freedom of speech. However along with every freedom there are responsibilities. Example: One cannot yell fire in a crowded theater." Actually, Pam B. of LaClaire, Iowa, you can, if it's actually on fire. The hackneyed-and-rooted-in-thuggish-censorship-quote is FALSELY shouting fire in a crowded theater. "Finally any media outlet that promotes itself as a news organization should be required to present a neutral and objective presentation of news and events, without predominate bias for or against any viewpoint." Yes, we should DEFINITELY have the federal government judge that. "Americans want the freedom of truth." Congratulations: you've crafted a slogan that's simultaneously stupid, meaningless, and chilling.
Regulate Internet Pornography: "We petition the government to keep pornography away from minors by demanding and enforcing that a valid credit card number belonging to the adult viewer is provided at a login screen to every pornographic website." I see you are using "regulate pornography" in the sense of "make select pornographers rich, with an immense side benefit to identity thieves."
"outlaw offending prophets of major religions" — "Moses, Jesus, Mohammad" — because "acts like this contradict the essence of coexistence and peace among humans. Labeling these acts as freedom of speech is similar to labeling murder as freedom of expression!" Similar, in the sense of "very stupid people might compare them."
These people vote, and reproduce, and drive popular culture. DESPAIR.
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