Mutants. Secret Society members. Communists. Baby deer.
In other news, someone brought an baby deer that had been abandoned by its mother to a no-kill animal shelter in Wisconsin.
The no-kill shelter placed a few calls, found a licensed wildlife refuge that would take the baby, and kept the animal in their fenced wooded facility for two weeks until the slot opened up at the refuge.
But, thankfully, this evil criminal conspiracy was stopped in its tracks. Thanks to brave government employees, aerial photos were taken, surveillance was performed, a SWAT team was assembled, and then nine agents of the Department of Natural Resources and four deputies "all armed to the teeth", raided the no-kill animal shelter.
And shot the baby deer and stuffed its corpse into a body bag.
Because, you see, the law forbids private possession of wildlife. And those villains at the no-kill animal shelter weren't going to send the deer to the licensed wild life refuge until tomorrow
Not that I'm criticizing. Oh, gosh, no! I am completely loyal, friend State. I would never question your dictates, second guess your wisdom, disagree with any of the tens of thousands of men and women that you equip with body armor, submachine guns, assault vehicles, drug sniffing dogs, GPS surveillance, drones, court rulings providing exceptions to the fifth amendment, and more.
My loyalty is complete, friend State.
But that baby deer? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he was a mutant. Or at the very least, potentially diseased. Better safe than sorry, friend State.
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