The Tesla, Or The Pony?

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51 Responses

  1. That Anonymous Coward says:

    It is amazing how they talk about having read your site… and make it obviously clear they never have.

    You should have asked for a spear attachment on the Tesla, suitable for pony hunting.

  2. Louis says:

    I want to see one of these people step up to the challenge and actually submit a pony article. That would be funny as hell.

  3. Ken in NH says:

    I hope that she goes for option 1. I look forward to your disappointed review and subsequently being sued by Tesla like they did with Top Gear.

  4. XS says:

    You're going to need to go back to Susan with your request for a Tesla for it will necessarily need to be the convertible version so that the Popehat hat can ride in its normal and customary position of prominence.

  5. Shane says:

    Let me guess Susan didn't respond. Hmmm ponies may not be her thing.

  6. Pedant says:

    Would an article on the Icelandic horse do? After all, Icelandic horses are typically smaller than standard ponies. I also need to know whether an article concerning dancing chorus girls would do.

  7. Kevin says:

    @Ken in NH, they sued Top Gear because it was RIGGED, as in scripted in advance. Literally. They actually found a copy of the script, before the "test" had been done.

  8. Anonymous Coward says:

    Someone needs to create the requested artwork.

  9. Jason says:

    I love your first response back. The picture that came into my mind was of a fisherman letting out line so that the fish would swallow the bait…

  10. princessartemis says:

    Someday, someone is going to step up to the challenge, and the results will be spectacular.

  11. manybellsdown says:

    I vote we add electric genital-shockers to all Lexus vehicles, because those folks can't possibly drive any worse.

    (Ken probably has a Lexus and I'm banned now)

  12. ZarroTsu says:


    I sincerely hope Ken includes this sentence in every email he ever makes (or at least emails in regards to this blog. Although law emails would also be interesting). It's simply too fitting not to.

  13. Fasolt says:

    I'd also ask for that spear attachment TAC mentioned to be connected to the battery so you can have a little fun with the ponies before you send them to that big rodeo in the sky.

  14. jackn says:

    Did someone say non-spammy?

  15. georgewilliamherbert says:

    All of my ponies breathe fire.


  16. SarahW says:

    Bindun. Behold, Niblet and Lisa.

  17. En Passant says:

    Sinceer hopez left arm not hurt.

    Wud rite artical on red Tesla pony meanass but I haz not got iPad.

  18. I was Anonymous says:

    @Hoare, that doesn't work. It's a horse, not a pony.

  19. FlyingDogs says:

    – crickets –

  20. ketchup says:

    Now I know why lawyers are so expensive. The paying customers subsidize lawyers' teasing of would-be blog-spammers and other recreational activities.

  21. wgering says:


    I'm making this my default email subject line from now on.

    …Clark wrote a 4,000 word essay about how he is the Megaladon.

    Clark Attack 3: Megalodon?

  22. ketchup says:

    . . . and to clarify – I am not criticizing Ken's use of his time at all. If he wants to spend his time making spammers look foolish, good for him!
    I actually find it entertaining!

  23. peej says:

    Also, what the hell have they done to that horse's ass?

  24. csoared says:

    Ken, kudos on The Bloggess-flavored post. Will there be collating?

  25. Sealander says:

    Ken: Ponies are not child horses, but a particular (small) breed.

  26. Clark says:

    @That Anonymous Coward

    You should have asked for a spear attachment on the Tesla, suitable for pony hunting.


  27. Clark says:


    Objection! Fallacy of the excluded middle.

  28. Jack B. says:

    Clark Attack 3: Megalodon?

    Coming soon: CLARKNADO

  29. Ken White says:

    DAY. MADE.

    Someone from Tesla wrote me and suggested I could help test the seat-shocking feature.

  30. gramps says:

    So there is a business web site that advertises disco pants?? Who knew.

    I wonder if she might sweeten the pot by providing an actual pony wearing disco pants.

  31. That Anonymous Coward says:

    @Clark – even if Machine Gun ended up going out like a bitch, the knife proved useful. Not sure you'd want to get that close to a pony.

  32. George William Herbert says:

    Oh, Bravo, Tesla Motors. Bravo.

    I will stop buzzing past your factory at 9,000 RPM for a week, to honor your lulz.


    I keep thinking "GOVERN YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY" was inadvertently omitted here.

  34. SKT says:

    Ken, I'm afraid you fell right into Susan's trap. I couldn't stop myself from clicking on her link.

    BTW I really could have used that sage advice before my small business went down.

    Now I sit at a desk in a tiny cubicle and read about paste eating ponies all day while pretending to analyze spreadsheets for someone I don't care about (and secretly hate).

    Also, anyone else here going to Bronie-con?

  35. Rusty says:

    Excellent point Clark. There are obscene business e-mails. I've received a few. I've sent a few. OK, more than a few.

  36. Joe Pullen says:

    @ManyBellsDown – hey I drive a Lexus and I resemble that remark.

  37. Joe Pullen says:

    I've also been told I drive to fast to worry about my cholesterol.

  38. totstroc says:

    "Juvenilequine" just made the short-list for portmanteau of the month. (But, please confirm: Is 'ju-ven-ILL-eh-kwine' the preferred pronunciation ?)

  39. Brandon says:

    One of these days someone with more money than sense is going to take you up on that offer. What will you do then, Ken?

  40. George William Herbert says:

    "What will you do then, Ken?"

    I believe this may be a stealth campaign to give Ken something to discourage his law partners and associates from bothering him when he's blogging:

    "Hey, Ken, are you…"


  41. Flip says:


    My god that was fried gold. It almost makes me wish I got spam just so I could send them a few choice exerpts of Pony Mail in return.

  42. Jeremy says:

    Why is the most amusing part about this site how they deal with marketers? I wouldn't expect that from a blog stacked with lawyers.

    I lol'd

  43. Kevin says:

    I would kill to read the aforementioned article by Patrick. LOL.

  44. Darryl says:

    You may want to rethink the X. The S has received the highest safety rating of "ANY CAR IN HISTORY!!!!!!!"

  45. Brian Westley says:

    Just a couple of weeks ago, I received a spam improve-your-web-business email. It was boring until the very end:

    Hi Firesigntheatre Team,
    Hope you are doing well.
    Your website can give you productive result in business. It sounds great! In addition, you want your website to remain at the top on the search engine.

    Best Regards,
    Xxxxx Xxxxxxxx |SEO Consultant
    PH. No: 000-000-0000
    AUS: +00-00000-0000
    Skype: xxx.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    1: This email is stands for onetime and you may ask us to “REMOVE” you from our list. diaperswappers

  46. warren says:

    "the terrifying duality of a pony"

    Quantum pony?

  47. totstroc says:

    @warren — I assumed he was going for "the Jungian thing" ( more than the uncertainty thing.

  48. Pure D genius!
    Kudos Ken, you made me fracture a rib laughing.
    (As you know, bones do not heal after death so I'm SOL on that count … got any Gorilla Glue?)

  49. MTO says:

    I want to second the "oh please, someone step up and make pony-related spam content that the PopeHat willingly publishes" sentiment.

  50. Careless says:

    Oh my, Bronycon is a real thing