She was brave

Yuma cow tried to run. She knew a truth.

Last 5 posts by Via Angus

Comments

  1. Brett Middleton says

    And nobody even mentioned the Dana Lyons song "Cows with Guns" in connection with this? Has everyone forgotten that this was predicted years ago? "We will run free with the buffalo or die!"

  2. eigenperson says

    Now sit back and watch the police state swing into action. They'll probably use this as an excuse to mandate neck-mounted tracking devices on all cows. You won't be allowed to take them off, ever. Not even in your home pasture.

  3. George William Herbert says

    Got outa the truck and smelled the Man
    And knew that she hadda get a Plan
    Kicked that gate and sprinted Free
    Took off running, got away Clean
    Cowhide

    Now she had to run and she had to find Grub
    And the grass wasn't greener here, it was all Scrub
    She stomped and she hollered
    And then she dug
    Cowhide

    She was starving, and couldn't find drink,
    And out of the blue, there was a man-thing
    It was down on the ground working on its wheels
    And she knew that it thought she was meals
    Cowhide

    She stomped and she hollered and she shivered her head
    And the man-thing finally pulled the plugs from its head
    And it reared and it shouted and it flailed and it pouted
    And the Cow knew its fate was doomed if she doubted
    Cowhide

    She ran and she stomped and she did her cow-dance
    And the puny little man he did die like an ant
    The cow smiled and it throated and then it saw grass
    And it sauntered off cleanly to fill its cud twice
    Cowhide

    But the cow didn't realize that the Man had some Friends
    The wife called the cops called the SWAT called the Man
    The Man came a running, in his APC so grand
    And the cow looked up and its last thought was "Blam?"
    Cow died

  4. Jon says

    I've never seen a Yuma Cow
    I never hope to see one
    But I can tell you anyhow
    I'd rather see than be one.
    (Apologies to O. Nash)

  5. says

    Now sit back and watch the police state swing into action. They'll probably use this as an excuse to mandate neck-mounted tracking devices on all cows. You won't be allowed to take them off, ever. Not even in your home pasture.

    I had a tag. The man date said my tag means he knows where I go. But the man does not know where I go. So I think the man told a lie. My tag looks like mud.

  6. Taliesyn says

    First thing I thought of when I saw this was Cows With Guns. Being rescued by chickens…with choppers.

  7. Harrow says

    Never let a pony talk to your cow. Oh, sure, it looks innocent and all, just one herbivore chatting with another. Next thing you know, this happens.

  8. barry says

    Having both a brand and an ear tag sounds like ID overkill. The newer RFID ear tags can let some gates record when you go through them, so they can tell where you are some of the time even if there's mud on it.

    Cattle kill about 20 Americans a year, which makes them many times less deadly than lawnmowers.

  9. Eric says

    Just re-read the earlier posts from Via Angus–I'm beginning to suspect he's the bovine Chief Bromden.

  10. zilong555 says

    Terrorism killed 15 Americans in 2011 and 17 in 2012. If cows kill about 20 per year, I think that we need to change TSA's mission to screening airline passengers to make sure that none of them are secretly bovines. It would be far cheaper and less invasive than what they are doing now and about as effective.

  11. Ivraatiems says

    Never let a pony talk to your cow. Oh, sure, it looks innocent and all, just one herbivore chatting with another. Next thing you know, this happens.

    I don't know what ponies are, but "herbivore" has nothing to do with it.

  12. OMG PONIES says

    Equine, bovine… they're not that far apart.

    Ken was right. Time to dig a hole and hide….

    When the ponies hear about this…

  13. Mayor Ford says

    He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
    Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high
    Bad cow pun

  14. CJK Fossman says

    @hrobins

    Cute song, except those cows with udders and stuff are actually, um, female.

    So spare me the bull.

  15. Troy McClure says

    "Don't kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!"

    Once again, The Simpsons were right.

  16. Greg the Sidhe says

    I don't know who actually writes Via Angus (I'm guessing Clark or Ken), but… Bravo. You could play in my D&D group any day. Probably the most unsettling metaphor I've ever read, more so than Brave New World or 1984. More on topic, Yuma cow was a hero. I shall pour out a 40 for her. (That's what the hip kids do, right?)