7) Initial news reports are always completely accurate, so we know we've got the right guy.
6) Initial news reports are always full of nuance, so we know that we understand the situation and can distinguish sarcasm from seriousness, and being nearby from being the active participant.
5) Internet shame mobs weigh the evidence carefully and deliberately before attacking, so they only happen to people who deserve them.
4) Internet shame mobs use the rule of law and due process, so when they occur by accident or to the wrong person it's easy for them to make amends and restore reputations, jobs, and friendships.
3) Internet shame mobs always make sure that the punishment is proportional to the crime.
2) Every member of an internet shame mob is without sin, so any one of them is morally just in throwing the first stone.
1) Once the internet shame mob has done its job, the button will be be offered to someone whom you don't know.