How do you recruit top-notch law enforcement personnel, ready to be at the tip of the spear in the struggle between our vulnerable transportation and the freedom-hating fanatics who want to blow shit up? Put another way, how do you find people who will reliably harass people for carrying cash or wearing Decepticon t-shirts, ogle body scans, and act entitled to the unquestioning compliance of the general populace?
Well, if you are the TSA, you start advertising on pizza boxes.
TSA has rigorous qualifications and requirements, including but not limited to "the munchies." The good news is that if your next security line is going slowly, there's an excellent chance you can skip it by bribing the security agent with a bag of Doritos.