Make Mine Pepperoni, With Double Ignorant Thuggery

How do you recruit top-notch law enforcement personnel, ready to be at the tip of the spear in the struggle between our vulnerable transportation and the freedom-hating fanatics who want to blow shit up? Put another way, how do you find people who will reliably harass people for carrying cash or wearing Decepticon t-shirts, ogle body scans, and act entitled to the unquestioning compliance of the general populace?

Well, if you are the TSA, you start advertising on pizza boxes.

TSA has rigorous qualifications and requirements, including but not limited to "the munchies." The good news is that if your next security line is going slowly, there's an excellent chance you can skip it by bribing the security agent with a bag of Doritos.

Last 5 posts by Ken White


  1. MadRocketScientist says

    I'm convinced the TSA does not have a PR department, or if they do, it is staffed with baboons.

  2. says

    MadRocketScientist, in the entire TSA, much less the PR dept, baboons get 20percent bonus scoring on the application to make sure that they push the Vietnam Vet bonus applicants down the list.

  3. John David Galt says

    I suspect that somebody at TSA has read Neal Stephenson's "Snow Crash" one too many times. Maybe it was one of the same clueless twits who raided Steve Jackson Games 10+ years ago because they couldn't tell cyberpunk fiction from reality.

    I'm ten times more afraid of these Keystone Gestapo than of any of their opponents.