Bob Fletcher's Loss Is A Victory For Sinister Yellow People, Urine Terrorists

Bob Fletcher, Sheriff of Ramsey County, Minnesota, was rejected last night by a deluded populace, evidently driven out of their minds by bleeding heart sympathizers for inscrutable orientals, and the terrorists who would destroy America with their filthy anarchist urine.

It isn't widely known, but Fletcher was America's leading cop in the fight against pissants, a fact the Republican National Committee trumpeted in the 2008 election.

Fletcher was in the national spotlight during the Republican National Convention in St. Paul. The weekend before, Fletcher deployed armed agents to raid several houses known to be occupied by protesters, arresting the residents on charges of "conspiracy to riot." Fletcher pointed to three buckets of urine as evidence that anarchists were indeed plotting destruction in St. Paul, but the containers were later revealed to hold discolored water.Yet Fletcher remains unfazed, even defiant.

As well he should.  Some call Fletcher a thug.  Some say the Minneapolis Gang Strike Force, of which Fletcher was a guiding light, shot "allegedly" innocent people for no good reason. But I think every American should thank Bob Fletcher for his service in the war against Vietnam and Cambodia and Laos, and for saving John McCain and Sarah Palin from the threat of buckets of mass destruction. And pee.

And shame on the filthy hippies who brought him down.

Last 5 posts by Patrick Non-White


  1. Patrick says

    Many thanks to Radley Balko for the link.

    For those who don't understand the link about filthy, hippie terrorists, let's just say that Jdog, a firearms safety instructor in Minneapolis (and a noted science fiction writer), had interesting encounters with Fletcher's minions when he registered the domain name "". Jdog looks like a filthy hippie, but he's a filthy hippie who owns many, many firearms.

    Bob Fletcher isn't a fan of citizens who reserve the right to protect themselves with firearms, whether they've had training or not. Of course, now that Bob Fletcher is just another citizen, perhaps he'll change his tune.

  2. says

    Alas, Fletcher isn't "just another citizen." He's going back to SPPD as a Commander, and will remain a very, very, very special person.

    If the Chief has any sense, he'll put Commander Fletcher in close tactical command of the coastal defense of the office coffeepot. Matter of fact, I think I'll be asking for a meeting with the Chief — on another matter; two of his minions rousted a permit holder who wasn't doing anything wrong, just for an opportunity to whip their tiny little… badges out — anyway, and I may as well put it all — including Fletcher's Mr. Happy — on the table.

    I'll bring a baseball bat.

  3. says

    Oh, and Patrick? I've now taken up a Hebe Cowboy look. At least for the winter; come summer, the flannel shirts will be back.

  4. Patrick says

    It was held for moderation overnight, while we enjoyed the sleep of the just. I almost deleted it when I read your second comment.