In words before great council fire, I, Paul Mirengoff, fighter for Akin Gump tribe, speak with fiery tongue about Yaqui Indian prayer to Great Spirit for scalped white sister Gabrielle Giffords and others killed at village of Tucson.
I, Paul Mirengoff, did not mean to hurt Yaqui Indian brothers and sisters, I swear before moon and stars. I am warrior and brave. My words are few and plain. All know wounds I have for Akin Gump tribe, in battles before Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and District of Columbia Circuit Court of Appeals.
I carry off many horses, and squaws, to serve clients at Akin Gump pow wow of war against plaintiffs' employment discrimination bar! I write conservative blog Power Line, often linked by Great Instapundit and others, bringing fame to Akin Gump tribe.
But for Indian brothers and sisters I, Paul Mirengoff, carry only firewater and beads, never war medicine! Especially Indians who, I now hear at big ghost dance in Akin Gump main lodge near House of Great White Father, are lucrative casino gaming clients of mighty Akin Gump tribe! All know that I, Paul Mirengoff, am great medicine talker and truth teller, so it hurt my feelings to learn that Indians, especially casino gaming clients, so easily offended. Do not take Paul Mirengoff as white man who speak with forked tongue, noble savages, but sit with Paul Mirengoff at table, like Tonto and Squanto and great warriors of old, and smoke pipes of peace.