I, Paul Mirengoff, Offer Heap Big Apology To My Indian Brothers

In words before great council fire, I, Paul Mirengoff, fighter for Akin Gump tribe, speak with fiery tongue about Yaqui Indian prayer to Great Spirit for scalped white sister Gabrielle Giffords and others killed at village of Tucson.

I, Paul Mirengoff, did not mean to hurt Yaqui Indian brothers and sisters, I swear before moon and stars.  I am warrior and brave. My words are few and plain. All know wounds I have for Akin Gump tribe, in battles before Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and District of Columbia Circuit Court of Appeals.

I carry off many horses, and squaws, to serve clients at Akin Gump pow wow of war against plaintiffs' employment discrimination bar! I write conservative blog Power Line, often linked by Great Instapundit and others, bringing fame to Akin Gump tribe.

But for Indian brothers and sisters I, Paul Mirengoff, carry only firewater and beads, never war medicine!  Especially Indians who, I now hear at big ghost dance in Akin Gump main lodge near House of Great White Father, are lucrative casino gaming clients of mighty Akin Gump tribe! All know that I, Paul Mirengoff, am great medicine talker and truth teller, so it hurt my feelings to learn that Indians, especially casino gaming clients, so easily offended. Do not take Paul Mirengoff as white man who speak with forked tongue, noble savages, but sit with Paul Mirengoff at table, like Tonto and Squanto and great warriors of old, and smoke pipes of peace.

Honest Injun!

Last 5 posts by Patrick Non-White


  1. Patrick says

    I would have linked to Mirengoff's apology at the Power Line blog, where he originally wrote the offending words. That's only fair.

    Except that Mirengoff deleted the original post at the Power Line blog. All that's left is his apology, and the Fox News link above, which Mirengoff presumably cannot delete. If he's trying to send what he wrote down the memory hole, I won't link to his apology. If you want to find his apology (and another heap big pile of scorn for Mirengoff), read the Crime and Federalism link.

  2. Dave says

    Wow. I didn't know non-apologies could be taken to such insulting hights. This is as bad as if you aped Obama and threw in a lots of "yes massuh"s and "no massuh"s. Akin gump really should fire this asshole.

    So can I assume that if for some reason you were asked to speak at an indian's funeral, you would have taken it upon yourself to commit their spirit to the creator, and keep your god business to yourself? Or you would have invoked Allah at a muslim's funeral? I really don't get what got your panties in a bunch of razor wire about someone speaking in their own spiritual tradition at a public ceremony for a tragedy that

  3. Dave says

    [sorry for the accidental partial post. Continued…] …that is indeed very public. Words escape me…

  4. Dave says

    Okay. I'm an asshat. Didn't read the byline or realize mirengue doesn't write on this blog. So it's not a 'non-apology'. It's just some other asshole spouting off racist slurs. I apologize to the asshole I originally thought wrote this post and also condemn the asshole who actually wrote it. I sincerely regret the confusion.

  5. says

    I get the feeling that Dave spends 75% of his time on the internet confused or offended, and the other 25% of the time both at once.

  6. Mike says

    I just read someone refer to Powerline as Powerwhite blog. That was almost as fun as Dave's self-humiliation.

    Thanks for the laugh, Dave – and for the reminder why I'm libertarian. People like you want to tell me how to live my life? Call me Freedom Wolf, and leave me the hell alone.

  7. Dave says

    Thanks for the thoughtful reply, mike. You reminded me why I'm not a libertarian: because I don't think it's funny to write a post aimed at making fun of the way 'injuns' speak, even if it's a joke. Especially since English isn't their first language. I did a semester in France during college, and it's not fun having people make fun of the way you talk their language! Just something too think about, asshole.

  8. Scott Jacobs says

    "Just something too think about, asshole."

    Just so you know, we can read what you type to yourself…

  9. Patrick says

    Dave, this post makes fun of Hollywood, and the way real people of historical importance spoke to Native Americans. Its inspiration, in terms of sentence structure and some word choice, was George Washington's account of his address to the Delaware Indians.

    This post portrays Paul Mirengoff phrasing his apology in pidgin English, using terms like Firewater and Tonto, because the Paul Mirengoff of my imagination thinks that's the only way Native Americans will understand him. It's aimed at Paul Mirengoff's original blog post in all its patronizing ignorance, not Native Americans. But you have to read the links to understand that.

    I wrote the post to make you read the links. The links tell a story in tandem with the post. Most people get it. You don't. Fine.

    Why were you reading it in the first place? I didn't invite you here to make a fool of yourself.

  10. says

    Patrick, you're asking people to think deeply before reacting! Reacting is FUN! It's EASY! It's THE DONE THING!

    Sigh. Well written response, wonder if Dave will think about it, or just react?


  11. says

    The comments to this post remind me of when I had to explain the lyrics of a number of Dead Kennedys were in fact satirical and sarcastic. They really were not urging their fans to go steal people's mail, nor were they telling us to skin children alive. Boy was that a relief to my mom! ;-)

  12. says

    I became aware of Powerline during the Dan Rather forged memo fiasco.

    Which is ironic, because the lesson of said fiasco was "a reputation built up over a long time can be destroyed very quickly."

  13. SG says

    BTW, I'm quite amazed by the comments over at the Fox website on the "lots of references to "the creator" but no mention of God. Several of the victims were, as I understand it, quite religious in that quaint Christian kind of way" part :

    "Did you expect our Communist leader to allow the name of Jesus to be mentioned? I dare say Obama does not care about those who have lost their lives and those who were wounded."

    So… Now refering to God/Jesus as "the Creator" is an insult to christians? That's rather funny because apparently the Bible does it a lot.

    Seems to me it's more the atheist who would have a right to be offended (not that it ever seems like a good idea to be offended at a honestly-offered, heartfelt tribute).

  14. Mike says

    write a post aimed at making fun of the way ‘injuns’ speak, even if it’s a joke

    See, it's not that you lack a sense of humor: It's that you're a fucking moron.

    Native Americans actually don't speak that way. It's only bigoted white people (ahem) who think they do.

    Thus, you continue humiliating yourself.

    Please keep it up!

  15. Mike says

    Piper: Thanks for the update. That blogger is further proof that CONservatives hate the free market. Bigoted Paul-o-boy could have remained at Powerline. He choose to earn more money at Akin Gump. This was a free, rational, voluntary economic decision.

    Yet the CONS are crying about it.

    I was once told to choose between a blog post and a job. I kept the blog, and didn't cry about it either.

    Free markets! Yeah, babe.

  16. Patrick says

    The Stalin comparisons at the Legal Insurrection post, of course, are only a metaphor. Any suggestion that Mirengoff was held in captivity and tortured to confess his crimes, that Mirengoff's family was arrested, that Mirengoff's friends turned on him to save their own lives, and that in the end, after a show trial, Mirengoff was shot and dumped into a mass grave, is purely rhetorical.

  17. Socrates Wears Skinny Jeans says

    Mirengoff is a sell out! He wants to chase the big bucks rather than speak his mind. He is like a musical performer or other artist who conforms to what the big corporations want them to. He's like Pearl Jam – before they started to suck!

    He put his own GREED and the need to please his CORPORATE MASTERS above his philosophical devotion to truth, art, beauty, and the Good.

    *Spits at ground*

  18. Mike says

    The story is gaining legs….Thanks to his "supporters."

    The bigot probably wishes this story would just go away. His "supporters" won't let this drop – even if it means that they'll force him into martyrdom.

    If the lawyer is asked to move on (if this story blows up), conservatives will blame liberals. Yet if conservatives STFU already, it will blow over.

    Still developing…

  19. Patrick says

    I think that's precisely the reason that Instapundit, who's a huge fan of Powerline but also very smart, hasn't breathed a word about this.

    The post was stupid and indefensible. Akin Gump was fully justified in laying down the law. And as you say, "friends" of Mirengoff who whine about TEH INJUSTICE! of it all aren't doing him any favors.