MEDIATOR: Ken, I like to run mediations with the parties face-to-face, so they can express their feelings. That's what I want to do today.
KEN: That will end badly. I know my client. I've been to mediation with him before. A face-to-face confrontation will harden hearts and tank the mediation — especially in this case, especially with the attitude on the other side. I strongly prefer a shuttle diplomacy approach where we are in separate rooms and you go from one side to the other. Face-to-face time will end badly.
MEDIATOR: Well, Ken, I've been doing this for a while, and I know what I am doing, so that's the way we're going to do it. This is all about letting the parties express their feelings and get things off their chests.
MEDIATOR: Well, here we are. Let's start with the plaintiffs. Plaintiff, what do you feel about this case?
PLAINTIFF'S COUNSEL: [Very mildly snarky and only semi-forceful exposition of his position]
KEN'S CLIENT: [erupts in outrage] [shouts in two languages] [spittle, red face, clenched fists] [storms out] [leaves mediation]
PLAINTIFF'S COUNSEL: [smirks] [didn't want to be there in the first place]
MEDIATOR: Well, Ken, that was very disappointing. I didn't expect that would happen. I heard you, but maybe I wasn't listening to you or feeling you.
KEN: Did you get your law degree in a box of wind chimes and dreamcatchers?