Defense Attorneys' Children Thank You For Their Private School Education.

Millage. Millage. Dude.

I know it's been 17 years since I've been to Boston. But Boston is the biggest college town in the country. It's simply infested with college students. I can't think that its basic nature has changed much in 17 years.

You allegedly came up with a cunning plan to import marijuana into Boston. Now, I have no problem with that in principle. The War on Drugs is a ruinous and expensive failure. Half of America favors legalization. I have no moral or ethical or sociopolitical quarrel with your enterprise.

But . . . dude. Your plan was to drive from Los Angeles to San Francisco to buy marijuana, drive back from San Francisco to Los Angeles, and then bribe a TSA agent to help you smuggle the marijuana — over multiple plane flights — via American Airlines to Boston?


Let me just mention a few things:

1. If you're in Los Angeles, you don't have to drive to San Francisco to buy marijuana.

2. Your plan involves trusting in the competence and reliability of a crooked TSA agent? Really?

3. Your business plan is to use post-9/11 commercial aviation to import marijuana in your luggage across the entire country into the nation's biggest college town? You know the nation's biggest college town already has some marijuana, right?

Honestly, sometimes the cops must feel like they're clubbing baby seals.

Last 5 posts by Ken White


  1. C. S. P. Schofield says

    Ostensible reason for conviction; Possession of Marijuana with intend to sell.

    Actual reason for conviction; Being without one functioning brain cell.

    I mean, is it silly of me to expect that a jury, once told this story, will think "Hell, I don't want this idiot running loose. What if he decides to play with matches?"?

  2. ElamBend says

    Millage Peaks for the fourth time, clearly that's an indicator of a family-borne problem of intelligence.

  3. says

    I took a week long woodworking class in Vermont once.

    While there I learned that most Vermont woodworkers make ends meet by diversification: 20% woodworking, and 80% growing weed which they sell to Boston kids.

    Vermont is a HELL of a lot closer to this market than anything on the West Coast.

  4. Not Sure says

    "Honestly, sometimes the cops must feel like they’re clubbing baby seals."

    If only. But I guess they probably *do* get tired of shooting dogs, don't they?

  5. C. S. P. Schofield says

    Professor Coldheart,

    My dear sir, I sincerely hope you would have recognized within minutes that you were dealing with a pair of energetic morons and sent them away with a flea in their ears. It amazes me that anyone was willing to sell them anything of questionable legality; they must obviously be trouble looking for somebody to happen to.

  6. CTrees says

    Ah, UPS: America's least unreliable major package carrier*

    *based solely on my experience, which comes from tracking packages every working day.

  7. the other rob says

    Reminds me of the famous quote from the British police sergeant, who said "If you want to know how stupid the average criminal is, consider that he's caught by the average cop." Or words to that effect.

  8. says

    It doesn't matter how much of the drug is in LA, San Fransisco, or Boston. It just matters what the prices are. If they could had cheap enough supplier in S.F., or if the quality of the "product" could command a high enough price, then it would be profitable to sell in Boston.

    Since they did it 9 times, it must have been a profitable endeavor. Or maybe they lost money on each venture, and were trying to make it up on volume.

  9. says

    For a touch of hilarity, when I saw a Jeff Hall had commented here, I was momentarily terrified that my lawyer had found this blog.

    Thankfully, it is not the same Jeff Hall, so I am safe.

  10. Dan says

    From the article: "In interviews with authorities, Peaks offered a detailed explanation of the system devised by he and Perez to get drugs onboard planes."

    This seems to violate the shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup rule. I suppose you should expect this from such a criminal mastermind. Wouldn't his seemingly-connected father have access to a defense attorney during questioning?

  11. IgotBupkis, President, United Anarchist Society says

    I have long been noting that one of the most unfortunate qualities associated with civilization is that it inevitably protects idiots from their stupidity. Randall Munroe, of XKCD fame did a wonderful toon in which he suggests that average IQ is not going down. I would accept that, but believe average wisdom — common sense — is tanking fast. Things that even an idiot a couple generations ago would have had sense not to do seem… entirely unobvious to a very large proportion of the population.

    Now, pre-civilization, these fools would have made their errors, and been prey for this or that species, or died from the results of their foolishness. Nowadays, we've wiped out the predators for the most part (excepting for the two-legged variety, of course) and medical science saves too many of the rest. So they live and breed.

    Put more simply:
    Too Much Tiger Food.
    Not Enough Tigers.
    We Need More Tigers!