I Never Promised You Neutrality

Just got our first comment spam from a lawyer who is also a friend and colleague.

So I wrote him instead of outing him immediately.

Sorry. I never said I was a Fair Witness. But rest assured I will mock him mercilessly in private, and try to convince him to out and humiliate his marketeer.

Last 5 posts by Ken White


  1. C. S. P. Schofield says

    Anyone who doesn't treat his friends better than he does random strangers is probably a saint, and should be martyred as soon as possible to make sure.

  2. says

    At Aliens in the Family, where we speak of ourselves in the royal first person plural, our policy is to combine semianonymous online speech with relevant (and perhaps even clever) pseudonyms and close attention to Facebook privacy settings in promotional links in order to write freely to a large prospective audience about relatives who are either beyond the pale or out of this galaxy. A platform with lesser anonymity would chill our right to free speech, as it would abet the bullshit artists, busybodies and duplicitous gossip mongers among our relatives.

    The aforementioned relatives are cordially invited to mind their own damn business, especially if they happen upon our online screeds, and to shut the fuck up about us when we might be within earshot. It is our carefully considered opinion at Aliens in the Family that semianonymous online speech about the jackasses and losers among one's relatives is more appropriate than face-to-face gossip all fucking week at family reunions, especially if the former can someday be monetized in the literary tradition of Jonathan Franzen.

    We have no idea who this Roth character is who keeps posting in our name. It beats us.

  3. swearyanthony says

    I am sure this violates our first amendment rights to witness mockery, or something.

  4. says

    As I told Ken it was a joke. I thought it was funny, leaving pretend comment spam from a lawyer in a blog post complaining about lawyers doing comment spam. Ken thought I was too subtle.

  5. says

    Sorry Roscoe. To you, it was self-evident humor. But the truth is we get attorney spam comments on our posts about spam all the time.