From an email yesterday:
Re: Popehat & Technorati Media Advertising Partnership
My name is Justin
Hi, Justin! Are we going to have a pleasant relationship?
and I manage publisher relations
for Technorati Media, the leading social media ad network and blogosphere destination
They should put "the leading social media ad network and blogosphere destination" in UrbanDictionary under "Word Salad." You can rearrange it endlessly. "The leading blogosphere network and social media ad destination." "The leading ad destination and social media blogosphere network."
Popehat.com is a fantastic site and I would love to establish a partnership to help you further monetize your traffic.
Justin, I don't want to get off on the wrong foot here, but I think you're a stinking liar. I don't think you, or anyone human responsible for targeting me with this email, has ever "read" or formed an opinion of Popehat. How many sites have you called "fantastic?" Would you still have called us fantastic if you knew that we consistently mock your profession as substanceless, loathsome, and bad for everyone involved? Also, you used "monetize your traffic" non-ironically, so fuck you very much.
We're currently working with similar publishers, including LawyersAndSettlements.com, DocStoc.com, DailyCaller.com, Alternet.org, TopClassActions.com, AmericaBlog.com, TheFreeDictionary.com, TheNewCivilRightsMovement.com, CommentaryMagazine.com, QuickAndDirtyTips.com, Care2.com, RealClearPolitics.com, & ChaCha.com.
Similar publishers, Justin? In what way are these "publishers" similar to Popehat, or to each other? You've mashed together a seemingly random collection of political blogs and shitty commercial linkfarms and ad-revenue-placeholders. If your goal was to convey to a potential customer that you're a competent marketer who could tailor a suitable advertising product for my blog, you've just started the interview with the equivalent of puking on my shoes and wiping your mouth with my tie. Seriously. Did a non-drunk human read that list?
On the advertiser side, we're connected to great brands like Microsoft, Toyota, Ikea, FedEx, Clorox, Sony, New Balance, Disney, Best Buy, H&R Block, Macy’s, Intel, Taco Bell, AT&T, Mattel, Hertz, Levi's, Dell, Chevron, JetBlue, & Verizon.
Bleeeeeeuuurrghhhhahahhhhhh. You just puked all over my shoes again, Justin. And I really thought you were done after the last paragraph. What does "connected to" mean? And what makes you think that anyone would think any of those brands are suitable for advertisements here? I mean, sure, I can see how you'd want Clorox after some of Clark's posts, but do we really strike you as a Disney outfit?
Please let me know if you are interested and would like to hear more. You can also apply to the network here. Thank you!
I am not interested, Justin, and I would not like to hear more from you ever again. Thanks!