Road To Popehat: Week In The Life Of Popehat Edition

It's time for the Road to Popehat, the feature in which we check out the traffic logs, see the searches that brought you here, and shoot an email to Rand Paul asking whether a vigorous program of domestic drone strikes is really such a terrible idea after all.

All of the following searches were used to reach us in the space of one week.

is constantly saying you are overpaid bullying: Not according to my managing partner.

is clint eastwood an asshole: Well, I like him, but my Barcalounger says he's kind of a dick.

i am in a wedding and got a subpoena for court for that day: Best excuse ever. Can someone subpoena me for the night of the charity auction I'm getting dragged to?

French man who line dances: I think I am finally at peace with Rule 34.

pictures of little girl on ventilator: No I'm not.

is there a lawyer I can call for pastor that has harmed me by playing god in my life: Regrettably, there probably is.

severe stalking ridicule and threats from perps while I am out and about with my family today: Um . . . go to the same lawyer as the pastor person.

how to beat blog comment spam filters: Go to the highest building near you and leap off the roof. The code will come to you in a vision on the way down.

will they forgive me if i commit credit card fraud: Well, are you sorry?

blog by ken white regarding global wildlife [note: from a Baton Rouge IP]: COME AT ME, BRO.

pope is on the road to perdition: And my nav system is broken.

Last 5 posts by Ken White


  1. Grifter says

    Adding "Well, I like him, but my Barcalounger says he's kind of a dick" to my list of catchphrases.

  2. says

    Dear Internet,

    If you were not trying to reach Popehat but you formed a Google query that led you to Popehat, you're doing it wrong. That's ok, though. We can help.

    If you have arrived here by accident, go to the Amazon search box in the right sidebar and resubmit your exact query there. Then roll half a pair o' dice, click on the item on your Amazon results page that corresponds to the number rolled, and buy that item.

    This is the only way to purge the spirits of ill-begotten inquiry. Good luck!

  3. says

    OK. Now to see if that makes the next "Road to Popehat".

    (Oh. My. I constructed a bizarre string I knew would turn up Popehat results. Cool. But the results ahead of Popehat get a little disturbing. Only partly because they're ahead of Popehat. And that's just the actual lawyerly links, not the pr0n.)

  4. says

    Ah, one of my favorite recurring features. I seem to recall that Road to Popehat was one of the first entries I read on this blog. You were venting about getting lots of Dora the Explorer traffic. (That's not how I first arrived here, though; you were linked from Above the Law, where I was an eventually-banned comment troll.) That sent me to the original Dora article, which was pretty damned funny.

  5. En Passant says

    pope is on the road to perdition: And my nav system is broken.

    Silly Google, so behind the times! You told them that more than two years ago. []

    I sense a recursive singularity in The Force ™, as if millions of keyboards suddenly cried out STACK OVERFLOW! then fell silent.

  6. says

    It would appear that someone is still butthurt from the killer giraffes (I'm going to be driving near there this weekend, I might shout "your are libel" out the window as we go past). And yet, still no contact from his team of lawyers. Sad Panda :(

  7. says

    @Grifter: My Barcalounger don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughin' at him.

    @PLW: My pony don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughin' at him.

  8. Adam S. says

    I am in Baton Rouge and have been a non-commenting reader for at least 2 years now. I don't think that search result for the Global Wildlife was me, but I have made a few strange Google searches hoping it might show up in these list due to my own odd humor, so I may have and forgotten.

    Thank you for continuing the blog Ken and others. I return to quiet readership!

  9. Merissa says

    I was reading this list while the accountant and signing powers were in my office doing payroll this afternoon. I snickered at #5 but attempted to stifle it, leading them to ask me if I was choking on my spit or something. Thanks.