My God, but the law is dreadful most of the time. Trust me. Really. It's insufferable.
So: best to take what pleasures you can when they become available.
United States District Judge Fred Biery of the Western District of Texas understands. That's why he wrings amusement from the dirty throat of the law whenever possible. Of course, that's easier to do when you have life tenure, a bitchin' robe, and armed federal marshals at your disposal, but the point is his spirit is admirable. Judge Biery is well known for amusing himself, and many of his readers, in the course of writing orders. Yesterday, in an order denying a motion for a preliminary injunction against a broad City of San Antonio ordinance regulating strip clubs, he enjoyed himself some more. The order is right here. It begins:
An ordinance dealing with semi-nude dancers has once again fallen on the Court's lap.
. . . and so on, in that style, until:
Should the parties choose to string this case out to trial on the merits, the Court encourages reasonable discovery intercourse as they navigate the peaks and valleys of litigation, perhaps to reach a happy ending.
And in the middle, there is actual law.
I've now written myself well out of contention for any position of public authority anywhere, anywhen. But this sort of order makes me think that if I ever became a judge I could still have fun.
Enjoy. Judge Biery did.
(If you think Judge Biery's humor is adolescent, you haven't seen what judges and attorneys are like when they're being serious. Plus Footnote 5 is masterful.)
Last 5 posts by Ken White
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