And now for something completely different

I tend to do two varieties of posts here at Popehat: longer ones, with lots of links, pictures and arguments; and shorter ones that I like to consider pithy.

I always enjoy ( <--- N.B.: sarcasm ) it when commenters leave feedback on the shorter ones along the lines of "I like your longer ones, but this short one sucked." Presumably these people have free time on their hands because they have already gone around and alerted all of their friends who have gained weight that "they were better looking ten pounds ago". Anyway, my point is two-fold: 1) this is one of the shorter posts 2) if you don't like it, please leave a long detailed comment explaining its inadequacy...somewhere else. That said: I love Miss Manners.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an aspiring street magician…how would you recommend I approach potential observers [ for donations ] ?

GENTLE READER: …perhaps you should ask a professional. Miss Manners has never worked the streets.


Last 5 posts by Clark


  1. says

    I love Miss Manners. One of her all-time great responses came when asked about "… some tactful ways of removing a man's saliva from your face." She responded it was strongly dependent on context, and went on to give several possible contexts and the appropriate method for each. Oh, my.

  2. tmitsss says

    In an alternate universe you have to pass a test written by Miss Manners before you can post on the internet.

  3. Renee Marie Jones says

    I like your short ones. Some of the long ones suck. Oh, by the way, you DID look better ten pounds ago (Didn't we all? :-)

  4. Grifter says

    And now thoughts of Miss Manners walking the streets….. Being called "Mistress Manners"

  5. Kilroy says

    I'm with Renee. The shorter posts are more coherent and usually less crammed pack with the insane conspiracies are after me.

  6. Kilroy says

    sorry about that. I have escaped the insane conspiracies… Less crammed pack with links.

  7. Dirkmaster says

    OMG! Rock n' Rye!! I haven't thought of that soda in like 40 years. I haven't seen Faygo drinks since I moved to Texas. Their fruit punch was the best.

    There, was that sufficiently contentless without bitching about short posts?

  8. says

    @Ron Larson. This post was written by Clark, not Ken. There are two easy ways to tell without even reading the body of the post: 1 Clark's titles are usually written in all lower case (as opposed to capitalizing the first letter of every word in the title) 2 It says "by Clark" and has links to "other posts by Clark"

  9. barry says

    I don't understand why 'Moon Mist' is the only Faygo drink whose flavor is in bigger print than the brand.

  10. Wondering says

    Thank you for this, Clark. I haven't read Miss Manners in a while and am now reminded that I should try to do so more often.

  11. En Passant says

    Dirkmaster wrote Aug 13, 2013 @7:47 am:

    OMG! Rock n' Rye!! I haven't thought of that soda in like 40 years. I haven't seen Faygo drinks since I moved to Texas.

    I thought Lawrence v. Texas made 'em legal, but I guess tradition dies hard.

  12. says


    Everything I know about Faygo I learned from the Insane Clown Posse

    And finally my weird train of thought that led

    street magician -> street clown -> clown -> Insane Clown posse -> Faygo

    is hinted at.

  13. bralex says

    "It says "by Clark" and has links to "other posts by Clark""

    On the mobile version, it doesn't say these things, at least not on the "front page"…

  14. wgering says

    @tmitsss: I would say I want to live in that universe, but I would probably fail the test. So I would be forced to go read books. Wait a minute, that sounds awesome. I totally want to live in that universe.

    I personally want there to be a superhero in the Marvel universe called Miss Manners.

  15. says


    "I haven't seen Faygo drinks since I moved to Texas."

    I don't know what part of Texas you live in, but I have seen some Faygo sodas at the HEB Central Market stores, if you have access to one of those.

  16. Sam says

    I haven't seen an HEB since I moved away from Texas. The regionality of grocery chains is weird.

  17. says

    Tali McPike:
    You said "two easy ways" and proceeded to give 3.
    This is unacceptable. Such blatant racism is precisely why the coup of traitors was successful in taking over all 3 branches of the federal government.

    Cops need tanks because gay marriage.

    And rodeo clowns.

  18. R. Penner says

    Bottom row, second form left. that Faygo Red PONY?

    Oh, Clark, I had not thought you had joined the poninistas.

  19. mcinsand says

    Faygo peach sucker-punched me last month, and not in a good way. I generally love peach sodas when I can find them, but this tasted like peach soda filtered through post-marathon sweatsocks.

  20. barry says

    Dear Gentle Reader (if that really is your name),
    Being a fan of street magicians (moreso than rodeo clowns at least), the best method of extracting loose change from the audience I have seen was by a model radio-controlled car that had been used in a previous trick. An inverted bowler/derby hat was mysteriously and magically attached to the top of the model car (a VW beetle) and driven in an arc in front of the assembled crowd, stopping regularly to give more hesitant donors time to fumble with their wallets.

    The skill of the car control made this audience collection entertaining it itself and had some elements of watching a good sheep-dog trial. People actually stayed to watch the little hat and car milking the crowd. Some audience members who tried to sneak away around the back would find their path cut off by this device, and some unfortunate non-payers would be followed up the street, stopping starting and turning in such a way to indicate it was still expecting payment.

    It's probably important to use one of the more friendly looking models of car and styles of hat for this trick because there is always the risk
    that someone will kick or stomp it and run off with the loot if it gets too aggressive. This did not happen when I saw it because it was a happy looking little car, skillfully driven, and had the audience on its side.

  21. tmitsss says

    One would not wish to be cross-examined by Miss Manners, Esq.

    GENTLE READER: If you are so concerned with being honest, why aren’t you frank about asking Miss Manners how to use your sister’s wedding invitation to insult her and her fiancee without getting caught?