So you've got kids. Maybe they are teens, maybe they are young adults living at home. They're a pain in the ass. They're disrespectful and won't follow instructions. They break curfew. They break house rules. They may be mixed up in drugs. They've been arrested multiple times, and you've had to bail them out. You worry that they aren't getting any better. You worry they are getting worse. Sometimes you're a little afraid of them.
You've also got a neighbor. Some people think he's swell — brave, with the right values, someone who serves the community. But he's violent. He hits people. He hits people a lot. He gets away with it, because of his connections. He's shot someone and gotten away with it, because everyone thinks that if he shot them it was probably for his protection — and because his friends help cover up for him. He talks about how he needs to hit people and shoot people because it's a dangerous world and that's what you have to do to protect yourself in it. His perception of risk might be different than a normal person's perception of risk. He also talks about how they had it coming. He gets angry if you ask him about it, or suggest that maybe he likes hitting people a little too much.
Would you ask your neighbor to help discipline your kids?
Would you make your kids go live with your neighbor, in the hopes it would straighten them out?
You probably wouldn't.
But you might call the cops on your kids. Or you might decide that they need to go to jail to be taught a lesson.
Data point: 22-year-old in jail for missing a court date on marijuana possession dies from allergic reaction as guards watch and accuse him of faking; the government stonewalls, lies about the incident, and deceptively edits the tape of it.
God help me if one of my kids is troubled, or uncontrollable, or addicted. I don't know how I will handle it. I don't know how other parents can handle it. I don't blame or judge parents who have called the police, or decided that what their kid needs is a stint in jail to learn a lesson. That's what our culture teaches us we should do.
I pray they don't learn that they have asked a violent, abusive, cruelly indifferent neighbor for help.
P.S. Also, think twice about calling your violent, abusive neighbor for help with, say, a prowler.
Last 5 posts by Ken White
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