ATTENTION ENTITLED MISCREANTS IN HOUSTON AND ELSEWHERE:
You may believe that the First Amendment to the United States Constitution gives you a right to petition the government for the redress of grievances. You may also believe that Article I, Section 27 of the Texas Constitution gives you the same right. But those rights must yield to the personal inconvenience and/or annoyance of your betters in government, specifically including but not limited to Houston City Attorney David M. Feldman and the other officials of that city.
Look, you pack of sticky-fingered dawdlers, these are busy, busy people, doing important government things that you cannot possibly understand. They don't have time to be distracted by your email campaigns addressing things you have the gall to think they ought to do, let alone respond to your confused and ill-penned entreaties. So CEASE AND DESIST. Go back to the way things are supposed to be: your leaders do government and you sit there and take it. Don't make Houston City Attorney David M. Feldman tell you again:
Robert – Please consider this as a formal demand that your client, Uber, cease and desist from transmitting or aiding in the transmission of form e-mails to City officials regarding the adoption of an ordinance to accommodate their enterprise. Despite my informal request to you by telephone on Monday, the excessive number of e-mails has gone unabated, to the point that it has become harassing in nature and arguably unlawful. Failure to cease and desist will be met with appropriate action by the City.
Do you hear that, you pack of querulous intermeddlers? ARGUABLY. UNLAWFUL. By God you had better take that seriously, whatever the so-called Constitutions of the United States or Texas say, because that legal opinion comes from a man who "has been named to Texas Super Lawyer (2004-2009)," which means that he takes marketing very seriously, which in turn demonstrates that he is not a man to be trifled with. No sir. He is paid $350,000 per year to give legal opinions like that so you know they must be of the highest quality.
No go back to watching wrestling or eating pork rinds or whatever it is you normally do when you aren't interfering with the duties of your leaders.
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