The Road To Popehat: Spooky Edition

It's time once again for the Road to Popehat: the feature in which we check out the traffic logs, see what searches brought you here, and ask ourselves "would a zombie apocalypse really be so bad and/or immediately recognizable?"

speeches about ducks: Your debate class sucks, man.

what are curse words in the state of New York: All of them.

is Florida under martial law October 2014: Regrettably, no.

accidentally admitted to a crime amendment: This would be awesome. "Your Honor, I move to suppress my client's statement under the Thirtieth Amendment. He accidentally confessed on account of being a total dipshit."

If someone at work accuses you of being a racist and you put racist words on Facebook can you get in trouble: I'm guessing employment in general is going to be a continuing challenge for you.

what should be the core values of an ice cream parlor: ALL YOUR ICE CREAM: GIVE IT TO ME NOW. NOW.

Are website moderators libel for slander comments law:

mal

what does it mean when someone says bitch I made you relevant: I believe that is what they call "throwing shade," a phrase that is now conclusively past it because I have used it.

step by step plan for filling difimation of charachter Step One: Purchase Dictionary.

bunnies as emotional support anals: Oh dear God I hope you need to borrow that last guy's dictionary.

Last 5 posts by Ken White

Comments

  1. Chris says

    Are website moderators libel for slander comments law:

    The gif is good, I cant decide if this is a dictionary problem (libel vs. liable), a law problem (libel vs. slander), a general stupidity issue, or a combination of 2 or more of these.

  2. Stephen says

    ALL YOUR ICE CREAM: GIVE IT TO ME NOW. NOW.

    I'm worried that what you just heard was "give me a lot of ice cream." What I said was "give me all the ice cream you have." Do you understand?

  3. Lamarck gets a bad rap says

    THANK YOU KEN! I was missing these little gems. (BTW. You owe me a keyboard.)

    I don't think you can hold Ken libel for damage to your keyboard. You knew the risks, and conducted yourself accordingly.

  4. Kilroy says

    The real question is why do these searches lead to Popehat? I mean what are you doing that makes popehat a top response for these searches?

  5. ketchup says

    The real question is why do these searches lead to Popehat? I mean what are you doing that makes popehat a top response for these searches?

    Right. I mean, if the search had been for "Ponies as emotional support anals", I would understand. But bunnies?

  6. ketchup says

    On a more serious note (OK, it is not really possible to be serious about a post like this, but still . . . ), I was bored and wanted to know the real answer to the question. It seems that Ken's humorous writing style is responsible for many of these obscure paths to Popehat.
    A Google search of the Popehat anals annals reveals, from 2009,

    http://www.popehat.com/2009/03/20/you-make-emotional-support-bunny-cry/

    and from 2010
    http://www.popehat.com/2010/07/05/my-ice-cream-should-reflect-our-core-values/

    And in a delightful bit of recursion, today's Road to Popehat insures that any time someone searches for these phrases in the future, Popehat will be even higher on the list. In fact, searching for "what does it mean when someone says bitch I made you relevant" already lists Popehat as both the number 1 and number 2 results!
    Ken, you have such power to shape the internet!

  7. says

    The corridors of the intratubes that I usually travel have been particularly challenging this week. Nah, make that this month.

    The laughter is much appreciated–and that .gif is priceless.

    Thank you.

  8. Anonymous says

    A friend made some comments to me:

    >Are website moderators libel for slander comments law
    "is libel a typo of liable? if so that's a hilariously coincidental typo"

    >what are curse words in the state of New York
    "large soda"

  9. Josh says

    Are website moderators libel for slander comments law

    bunnies as emotional support anals

    I may have ruptured something laughing so hard at these quotes. Thank you.

  10. don Roberto says

    >Are website moderators libel for slander comments law
    "is libel a typo of liable? if so that's a hilariously coincidental typo"

    Actually saw that on an ad on a commuter train once; it said something an ad copywriter thought was funny, then in tiny print said "not libel for injuries from reading this sign," or words to that effect.

    I twitched for a good half-hour…

  11. NickM says

    bunnies as emotional support anals

    I once saw a college club's constitution which provided that "The President shall be elected anally."

    Not the sort of provision I'd put in if I were drafting a club constitution, but YMMV.