The Road To Popehat: Questionable Life Choices Edition

It's time for the Road to Popehat: the feature in which we check out the traffic logs, see what searches brought you here, and contemplate whether a Trump presidency would really make such a big a tonal difference.

This time: go home and sit down and think about your life.

does slander count when you're drunk OK sir I see I'm going to have to ask for a larger fee deposit on this one.

is defamation good or bad? Welllllll, it's good for business.

a judge called me an arsehole can i sue him Definitely. For slander. And possibly RICO. I'll wait here and watch.

the new wife said she wished i would just die, is that a threat I'm just spitballing here but have you tried not calling her the new wife?

what does it mean when your boss tells you that he could still investigate your wrong doing, does he usually end up looking into it? Okay. First I need you to calm down. Let's not speculate. Let's prepare for different possible outcomes and be ready to discuss developments. The important part is that you calm down and be patient.

if your boss says "he could still look into it" is he just making a threat or is he actually going to possibly look into it? Goddammit.

is it worth it to complain about a cop There are faster ways to get threatened and beaten, but hey, yeah, sure.

because every interaction that a man has with a woman these days can be construed as harassment should men wear body cameras Coming up on the Mark Levin show, right after this break!

do white people have a right to be offended when generalisations are made about them? Yes, white people have the same right — conferred by God and recognized in the Constitution — to be as unproductively sensitive as anyone else.

step 1: respond to the following: many men believe that their “wolf whistles” and “cat calls” are forms of innocent flirting. the textbook, however, suggests that when taken all together, they help to create of a hostile environment for women. using material from the text and techniques of sociological analysis, discuss the pros and cons of this perspective. be sure to respond to at least two of your peers. Okay, so you're not merely trying to get the internet to do your homework for you, you can't even be bothered to reframe the question into a rational search term? On a question like this? Are you planning a career of lying in a vat and selling your organs?

why are lawyers so glamorous I will answer you as soon as I finish sitting on a rock-hard bench next to a trembling meth addict for three hours waiting for a former DA who knew someone who knew the governor wander onto the bench and call my half-minute-long hearing.

popehat mediocre thugs Glamorous mediocre thugs, please.

Last 5 posts by Ken White


  1. Poe Slaw says

    the new wife said she wished i would just die, is that a threat?

    Have you tried assigning your wives a random number so as not to imply any level of precedence?

  2. Craig says

    The new wife saying she wishes you would die is probably a good indication that you shouldn't have married her. My crystal ball shows a divorce lawyer in your future.

  3. Dave Crisp says

    Y'know, I'm actually curious to know whether or not there's a group of people out there playing a "let's type random legal-looking crap into google and see where the first popehat link crops up" game. Whenever I check, you always have to go quite a number of pages in….

  4. Christy says

    "Yes, white people have the same right — conferred by God and recognized in the Constitution — to be as unproductively sensitive as anyone else."

    Thanks for that.

  5. askingforafriend says

    I know that God gave us all the right to be overly sensitive but I am a little worried about that right.

    If God is all-powerful and all-knowing, do you think he might have forgotten about us? Like on purpose? I'm just worried because maybe he doesn't remember we can be sensitive and stuff.

  6. says

    Speaking of the pony menace, there is an outrageous microaggressor who should be barred from the NH Presidential primary ballot. Google
    "vermin supreme pony"

  7. Jimcat says

    'if your boss says "he could still look into it" is he just making a threat or is he actually going to possibly look into it?'

    This guy needs a mind reader, not a lawyer.

    Overall this post is one of the most entertaining I've seen on your blog.

  8. Nullifidian says


    I'm waiting for the search term "Legal Blog Pony" to show up…

    There's an actual blog with this title. I'd link to it, but I'm afraid the universe would be destroyed in the resulting explosion.

  9. Norahc says


    You forgot to include the Logan Act to go along with the slander and RICO charges.

    Remember, it's always the Logan Act.

  10. OrderoftheQuaff says

    One of my old clients once told his wife (an Asian woman, no less) "Sweetheart, I want to reassure you that no matter what happens, you'll always be wife #1."

  11. says

    Do you have to subscribe to the paid version of Google Analytics to see your search terms these days? Mine all just say "(not set)" now.

    I do kinda love how Google will now pretend to give a fuck about its users' privacy unless you pay a subscription fee, though.

  12. Jackson says

    I'm not saying I would buy a "Popehat: Mediocre Thugs" T-Shirt, but I'm also not saying I wouldn't buy like 50 of those fuckers.

  13. Fasolt says


    Let's not stop there. Popehat: Mediocre Thugs hoodies, beanies, ball caps, coffee cups, shot glasses, iPhone cases, illustrated dictionary of the secret Popehat gang signs and secret handshake. The list goes on and on.

  14. gbear says

    My RSS road to Popehat has been stalled since 12/04, I even read the damn Edrdogan post and everything. Everything being reloading the feed several times. Any help?

  15. Stew Taylor says

    These are helpful, I wish they'd address this: "Is it wrong / illegal to smack someone even if they were REALLY REALLY annoying, and most of the spectators approved?" I'm mean HYPOTHETICALLY…

    PS can your answer be used in court. Hypothetically?

  16. Robert Green says

    Stew, I'm not a lawyer, but I think you are OK. This is only because you said "REALLY, REALLY". If you hadn't repeated "Really" or hadn't used all CAPS, I'd be less sure. Good luck with your trial…