The truth of the braying ass

viaangusOne day on my ventures, following the road that I think Roy used, I saw a braying ass in a field with a broken fence. He was standing in a rotting pile of dead thing, and every kind of animal stood around and listened as he brayed. Sometimes he leaned down to eat a mouthful of dead thing.

I did not leave the road, but I could hear them because they were very loud.

“I will keep you safe from the Man” said the ass. “The Man hates you, but I love you. The Man put this fence around you to hurt you, but I will build a wall around you to help you. It will be tall and excellent. The Man will not be able to come in.”

“Didn’t you help the Man build the fence? I saw you carry this wood for him” said a raven. But the ass made a sound and two goats charged the raven and made it fly away.

“I hate the Man, but you love me. Let me build a wall around you to keep you safe” brayed the ass. “Our field will be great. You will eat grass, roots, and seeds I give you. I won’t let squirrels and rabbits take them away.”

A squirrel said “I am a squirrel. My family is a squirrel family. Can’t they come inside and live with me?” A rabbit said “I think we should study and make plans.” A crow asked, “Didn’t I see you with bags on your back? Didn’t you help the Man carry grass, roots, and seeds away to sell them in the market?”

The ass leaned down to take a bite of dead thing, but four stink foxes ran to the squirrel, the rabbit, and the crow. They sprayed stink on them to make them go away. After they were gone, the braying ass said “I am the one who will help you. Follow me into the woods and we will live without the Man.”

“Doesn’t the Man own the woods and go there to make fence rails?” asked a snake. But a pony trampled the snake dead. Some animals were afraid. But others came up to trample its body.

Then I saw the front eyes. I had met this front eyes before. He had wanted me to help him lead but I had not wanted to lead. He said “Let us follow the braying ass.”

I felt a lot of things but words did not work right in this field. So I emptied my bowels by the road before them and walked away.

Last 5 posts by Via Angus


  1. AstroBio says

    Well, this makes a hell of a lot more sense than Marc's last post:

    I write this as someone who was willing to vote for Trump".

  2. Michael Cox says

    "I felt a lot of things but words did not work right in this field. So I emptied my bowels by the road before them and walked away."

  3. King Squirrel says

    Heard from a squirrel that the ass lured the rabbit back later, for the ass was nothing without his hare.

  4. MelK says

    Told you that pony was going to be trouble, but did you listen? Nooooo… "The wall we've got is good enough", you said. "Their party is only for one day", you said, "and what are the odds they'll have a pony anyway?"

    That poor snake. And he was our Ophidian Rights expert, too…

  5. CHH says

    I emptied my bowels by the road before them and walked away.

    You know, that's probably the best option for most situations in life.

  6. Michael P says

    1/10, awful parable, would not read again. Even less cogent and plausible than Donald Trump.

  7. Sad Panda says

    Whiny, butthurt Trump supporters are always entertaining in comment threads.

    Keep up the good work, Via Angus. Watch out for asses and elephants, both can be dangerous. Especially in mindless stampedes.

  8. Mikee says

    RE: Sad Panda

    Agreed. If they're sick of being called sexist, racist, small minded assholes, they should stop saying sexist, racist, small minded asshole things.

  9. Mitchell says

    Trump reminds me of Gerry Spence. Actually Spence has lost a criminal case. State V Newton, when he was a D A in Fremont County WYO, All one has to do is research that. Spence, and his firm have lost civil cases.
    Spence has a very aggressive marketing program. And, the press reported that he got $ 5 million in the Marco case.(was that just the retainer, plus more? While Shoe Lady, was found not guilty in the criminal trial, in NYC, civil like proceedings tracked down the assets plundered from public coffers to disgorge billions, and if any bought all the Spence bull on Marcos, they are very gullible. Respectfully, the subject is braying ass, and this needs to fit in here, given all the bull flowing out of Teton County WYO.

  10. Czernobog says

    The important thing is that the near sighted parrot who works at a bank is safe, and his voice is heard.

  11. max says

    The parrot who works at the bank is near sighted? I had no idea, I thought the glasses were plain glass for looks.

    Anyway Via, if you're looking for Roy you are going the wrong way, the road with the braying ass doesn't go anywhere, it looks great until it suddenly stops in the middle of nowhere because the road builder only worked when people were people paid attention to him but when they stopped he went away and did something else to try to get their attention back.

  12. Chiaroscurro says

    Sounds like someone tried to write an Animal Farm-like criticism of US politics but forgot that that book was good because it actually had a coherent narrative and cleverly applied metaphor. This reads like a poorly argued allegory of anarchistic propaganda.

  13. luagha says

    It had been so long sine we heard from Via Angus that I was hoping for better. Honesty might have made a stronger story – something about why the animals were desperate to listen to the braying ass. They must have had a reason, but without it, the story is hard to understand.

  14. Sad Panda says

    I am front eyes, people say I should eat meat. But bamboo is so wonderful! Totally trumps steak.

    Perfect for a ruminati.