Road To Popehat: Friendly Advice Edition

It's time for the Road to Popehat, the feature in which we check out the site traffic logs, see what searches brought you here, and revisit the dosage on our anti-anxiety medication.

Occasionally we are moved to try to be helpful to our visitors. Why not?

in new york state can you say something negative anout someone if its true: You totally can. Let 'er rip! I mean, unless it's about a pathologically sensitive billionaire or something.

when you call a lawyer's office what do you call him by the name? You can't go wrong with "sire."

your purchase comes to $11.23.you give the clerk a ten dollar bill and a five dollar bill.what is the proper amount of change to expect? $3.77. That will be $165, please. [.3 researched commerce calculation issue]

the court uses this standard to determine if a type of speech is protected and compares it to "yelling fire in a crowded theater." I will cut you.

can i sue my daughter for defamation on something that was posted via facebook Yes. I see no way this could go wrong. It seems productive and proportional. Do you know any good websites for shopping for a beach house?

will a judge ask you take off your hat in court? "Ask" is a bit of a softening, but yes. If you're lucky you won't get tased.

what can you sue a person for that sends you a threatening letter? Very occasionally, for declaratory relief.

could you be sued for calling someone a fat fuck in queensland/ Does Australia have laws like that? Wouldn't you just get shanked or something?

how to use lawsuit of slander and libel to shut idiot up It's going to be the most magnificent beach house ever.

if you are indicted by the feds will you be arrested That depends. Was the crime allegedly committed with a gun or with a pen or a computer? Is the AUSA in a good mood? Are you notorious enough that a perp walk would get good news coverage? Are you rich and white or poor and brown? All of these may help determine whether you get arrested or get a summons in the mail.

what kind of plaintiff lawyer do you need for death threats in california Well I find the plaintiff-side employment lawyers to be the most generally irritable but your mileage may vary.

what are the rights of the citizens against police officers You have the right to as much justice as eight people who watch Law & Order reruns and just ignored your videotaped beating feel like giving you today after the media has terrified them about how criminals will kill their children.

Last 5 posts by Ken White

Comments

  1. Chris says

    I continue to wish you linked the articles these searches brought people too.

    "the court uses this standard to determine if a type of speech is protected and compares it to "yelling fire in a crowded theater." "
    This feels like someone pasted a really bad homework question into Google

  2. Kevin says

    I really want to see "Does 'I will cut you.' qualify as a true threat?" in the next episode of Road to Popehat.

  3. VPJ says

    Does 'I will cut you.' qualify as a true threat?'

    Not in this case. It's exempt under the "Waving a 'fire in a crowded theater' cape in front of Ken" exception.

  4. Narren says

    Does 'I will cut you.' qualify as a true threat?'

    Only if you make it to a member of Local/State/Federal Government.

  5. Daniel Audy says

    I really want to see "Does 'I will cut you.' qualify as a true threat?"

    Pretty sure that is covered under the 'fighting words' doctrine.

  6. Jim says

    @Argentina Orange

    I have read SHG's post on this subject and also would like to read Popehat's take on this as well.

  7. Aaron says

    Will there be a paddock for ponies at the new glorious beach house? One especially designed to contain them and keep them from escaping to wreak havoc on poor unsuspecting lawyers?

  8. Leo Marvin says

    Well I find the plaintiff-side employment lawyers to be the most generally irritable but your mileage may vary.

    Yeah, my mileage definitely varies.

    In my experience entertainment lawyers in their cars, unconstrained by anyone in earshot, are in a class by themselves. The examples are legion. One of my favorites, after informing one such clown that my client had rejected one of his contract demands, was being informed at the top of his lungs that I was another Adolf Eichmann — just following orders — and God willing I would meet the same fate.

  9. Lyle says

    could you be sued for calling someone a fat fuck in queensland/ Does Australia have laws like that? Wouldn't you just get shanked or something

    I think you're safe from getting shanked, the fat fuck has to catch you first.

    Source: I'm a Banana Bender.

  10. RB says

    Narren, "I will make you the best linguine you've ever had." qualifies as a true threat if made to a member of Local/State/Federal Government.

  11. VPJ says

    Narren, "I will make you the best linguine you've ever had." qualifies as a true threat if made to a member of Local/State/Federal Government.

    Cultural appropriation!

  12. Duke of URL VFM #391 says

    "[.3 researched commerce calculation issue]"???
    What the hell does that mean in English?

  13. nerobi says

    If it really took you .3 to calculate the change, I am never hiring you. To do anything.
    Alternatively, you may be just padding the bill…
    Yea, not sure which is worse here.

  14. Raccoon Strait says

    I would like to request that a fix be found for whatever is going on with your RSS feed. It seems to only report things once every month or two, rather than when they get posted. Today I got sixteen articles.

    It's not like I don't miss you and look for new articles on your homepage, but sometimes I forget and don't find out about something till much later.

    I am not sure how to classify this feeling of deprivation in psychological terms, but it must be some kind of severe disease. I know from a previous comment someone else made that I am not the only one suffering. Please fix our fix method so that we may fix our fixation with your fixated point of view.

  15. Deniable Sources says

    @nerobi,

    The .3 is not for arithmetic. If you read the original text, the question – the salient point – is the proper amount of change to expect. Expectation is not arithmetic. Expectation implies human emotion in the context of a commercial transaction where the questioner is unsure of the result and at risk of being cheated. In the end, it is not the answer you pay for, but the careful analysis of the question. I think the bill is eminently defensible.

  16. Caliban says

    @Duke of URL VFM #391

    It means he took 20 minutes to type his answer, and bills out at $500 per hour.

    Or maybe his paralegal took 20 minutes, but the paralegal only bills out at $250/hour, so Ken signed his name on the answer.

    Or maybe it only took 30 seconds but the paperwork involved in the setup for answering the question took 19 minutes.

    Ken, are you looking for an office manager or a paralegal? (I'm familiar with Time Matters, MyCase, OneNote, and Grindstone, among others.)

  17. Rich Rostrom says

    Last night I watched a Noel Cowardesque British comedy set in the 1920s, in which one character told another "If I ever meet you in public again I will cut you dead!" One wouldn't think switchblades or straight razors were much used in that milieu…