How To Write (Or Solicit) A Good Letter Supporting A Defendant At Sentencing

This week various political figures took some abuse for writing letters seeking leniency in the sentencing of former House Speaker Dennis Hastert, who got a 15-month sentence for monetary transactions designed to conceal that he was paying off victims of sexual abuse. I've argued before that if you write a sentencing letter in support of a famous (or notorious) person, the media will report on it in an insipid and sensational way. That's inevitable, and media reaction isn't my focus. My … [Read More...]

The Fur Flies In Jupiter

Chapter One It was on the red carpet that the Breitbart bitch jumped me. Five foot six inches of wild conservative journalist, jabbering something about illegal aliens and the starving children of Judge Scalia. She'd played her cards right, smiling at me, winking and nodding, waiting until the angel dust kicked in. That was her […]

Kim Jong Il

Statement Of Dear Leader And In-House Counsel Joel Pollak Denouncing Criminal Acts Of Traitor Fields-Shapiro Gang

(BREITBART PYONGYANG) Today all the peoples of TrumpNation expressed shock and remorse at news of the well-documented crimes of slanderous traitors Michelle Fields and Ben Shapiro toward Great Leader Donald Trump and the memory of Eternal Breitbart News President Andrew Breitbart. Word of the infamous and unnameable deeds of the assassins Fields and Shapiro was […]

I don't write the headlines

Violence and Political Speech

My most recent CNN Column discusses violence in political settings. See Defend Donald Trump's right to free speech I don't get to write my own headlines, ok? Some good people think that sometimes being violent is ok. What they don't understand is that when we use violence in politics, no matter what, the bad people […]


A fabulous Roman candle exploding like a spider across the stars

On this day in 1922, the universe lit the fuse on the roman candle of the existence of one Jean-Louis Lebris de Kérouac. Somewhere along the line after that there were girls, visions, everything; somewhere along the line the pearl was handed to him, but like so many that stand at the center when the […]

Rumored to be the new USPTO policy director

The USPTO Would Prefer Not to Follow the First Amendment

The USPTO is, apparently, a big Melville crowd. In December, U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit decided In re Tam, 2015 U.S. App. LEXIS 22593 (Fed. Cir. Dec. 22, 2015). In it, the Federal Circuit made a sweeping pronouncement that the First Amendment applies to trademark registrations, and that a long-criticized prohibition on […]

UMass considered this to be "anti-semitic"

Something Doesn't Click Here

A Missouri professor has gotten more than her share of negative pixels this year. I actually decided after my last column on her that I was done writing about her. Even when she claimed that her now-infamous plea for "some muscle over here" was not the real her. I resisted. “I try to remember that’s […]

The truth of the braying ass

One day on my ventures, following the road that I think Roy used, I saw a braying ass in a field with a broken fence. He was standing in a rotting pile of dead thing, and every kind of animal stood around and listened as he brayed. Sometimes he leaned down to eat a mouthful […]

cnn trump

Is the First Amendment safe from Donald Trump?

I write this as someone who was willing to vote for Trump. This gives me great pause…. Donald Trump has said a lot of strange things — some funny, some creepy, but none scarier than what he said on Friday: that if he is elected president, he will "open up our libel laws" to make […]

From the Trenches at the Nevada Caucuses – Part 3 – Amongst Republicans

This is Part 3 of a 3-part series on the Nevada Caucuses. Here is the Previous episode, Part 2 3.0 – I enter the nest of the Republicans I approached the high school where the Republican Caucus was going to take place as if I were scrambling over rocks to approach Mordor. I hadn't even […]

From the Trenches at the Nevada Caucuses – Part 2 – Wallowing in the Democrats' Ennui

This is Part 2 of a 3-part series on the Nevada Caucuses. The previous part is here. 2.0 The Democratic Caucus – sorta dirty, but not in a fun way. My wife dressed my 7 year old daughter in a tutu that looked like an American flag and my son in a shirt that had […]