It's been awhile since we've had a caption thread, but I think this picture begs for it.
We could argue all day about whether this JibJab music video is equally harsh to McCain, Obama, and Clinton. But I thought it was pretty funny, and I found the Obama section hilarious.
A special thank you goes out to DaveSid in our forums, who provided me with the badges and banners for each faction. To recap, setup and strategy for the Obama-Clinton-McCain three way free-for-all Dawn of War slugfest were covered in the first entry in this series.
Alright, so now you have a sense of who the players are. Now it’s time to see the actual game, and the relative strengths and weaknesses of their strategies. But before I drop the science on you, let’s get some things right out in the open.
- I’m an Obama supporter and I’ve donated to his campaign. If by donate you mean I bought a sweet hoodie from the man.
- I admire John McCain and would have probably voted for him this cycle if Obama hadn’t run. I realize he’s done some skeezy things politically.
- I’m don’t particularly like Hillary. In fact, during the primary season, hearing her speak would cause me to turbo vomit.
Politics are like real-time strategy games. They involve a careful gathering of resources and split-second decisions of their use. Ideally, the combination of tactical strategy and a more urgent pace than turn based would produce a typical match like speed chess; exhibiting fast pace, intense thinking, and tactical strategy. In reality though, the games comprise of memorized build orders and a game pace so fast nearly all strategy is thrown out the window. The only people who triumph are those losers who play for hours and hours on end; memorizing hotkeys while their vocabulary atrophies into Three Letter Acronyms. Does that sound familiar?
We've just had a historic primary season, or so I'm told. And you, dear reader, are probably sitting there in front of your computer, empty beer bottles strewn about, thinking, 'Now what the hell just happened? And where are my pants?'
Well hang on, I'm about to explain it to you, using the hyper-violent RTS Dawn of War, by Relic entertainment. By the way, your pants are behind the toilet. Go put them on before reading this; no one should have to see that shit.
The less I say about last night's Democratic primary results the better. I've already tipped my hand about how Hillary Clinton managed to convert me from neutral to distaste, and there's not much point in me describing how listening to her speech Tuesday night made me want to swerve into oncoming traffic.
I've decided that I am going to employ Hillary Clinton logic to declare that I am by far the most active blogger, and that since I have the most blog posts on this site, I am the most logical candidate to be declared the Supreme Ruler of Popehat. Explanations after the fold…
I'm not a terribly big fan of Rep. Wexler. But damn did he just skewer Harold Ickes in that meeting. And he also gave one of the Clinton supporters from CA a good smashing. She wanted to know why a full restoration of the FL delegation wouldn't be unifying – to which Wexler correctly pointed out "I wish you would have asked that question last year". Ouch. Her explanation was even more ridiculous "I voted to strip them of 100% of their delegation because I couldn't predict that Floridians would be interested in the Presidential race."
John Scalzi brings some high quality snark to bear in looking at the West Virginia returns.
Several days ago, various bloggers — both Clinton fanatics like Talk Left and more agnostic folks — were expressing anger that West Virginia was being portrayed by the media as, to be blunt, a backwards bigoted shithole. Some of the results, though, make it pretty clear that race was a major factor:
RACE, GENDER AS VOTING FACTORS
One in four Clinton voters and about one in 10 Obama voters said race was an important factor in their vote.
25% of Clinton's voters admitting that race was a major factor is huge, and troubling.
Let me be completely honest about something, though: I'm not particularly troubled by African-Americans voting for Obama based in part on his race. I'd be interested in a discussion of why.
I really hope, for her sake, that they don't let her read what comes in through this.