From Maverick to Zelig.

I now believe that John McCain doesn't even know who John McCain is anymore. 10 years ago he was a straight talking maverick. Two years ago he was still a little strange but much more party line. Today he is borderline tea party. The latest wacky fun? He's suggesting that illegal aliens are looking to cause car accidents on purpose.

McCain was flip flopping (remember when only liberals did that?) on his previous views on immigration and strongly supporting Arizona's new borderline racist immigration law. He suggested that it would be a shame if the law led to racial profiling, but also totally justified.

Of course, I'm still trying to figure out why illegal aliens are cruising around looking to ram my car. I'm sure there's some insidious plot there that the Minutemen would be all over if they were still around.

What Sin Is Triangulation A Euphemism For Again?

While it does seem a bit odd that Barack Obama would choose Pastor Rick Warren (best known for allegedly favoring John McCain in a debate at Warren's church, and, for those who enjoy such things, a certain lunatic conspiracy theory)  to officiate at Obama's inauguration, it's probably a better choice than Jeremiah Wright.

That's about the best I can say for it.

Finally, They Face the Tough Questions

Both Obama and McCain will be interviewed (recorded earlier) on Monday Night Football. Does anyone think this is a good idea? Has anyone been thinking "man, I wonder what sort of insights Chris Berman has on the presidential election?" Just imagine the forced banter..

John "MCCLOUD!" McCain. Or, "Barack Obama. From?" "Harvard." This can really only end in tears, or drudging boredom. Or both.

As Good A Reason As Any

Yesterday my five-year-old daughter announced that she wants John McCain to win because he has white hair and she loves him. My seven-year-old son said he wants Barack Obama to win because he "totally rocks."

The nearly two-year-old is the swing voter. Judging from her polling results at a party last night, she'll vote for whoever allows her to smear frosting all over herself.

Or, Young Women are the New Black…

Remember those glory days when the Republican National Convention was a huge drinking game called find the one black guy? Well, those days are over. Not because of a dramatic influx of people of color, but because Fox has a new marching order. Show lots of shots of women. Especially young women. It's a little creepy, and pretty darn obvious pandering.

Speaking of pandering, tonight is Sarah Palin's big chance to see how many times she can use the phrase "executive experience." As always, I'm watching Foxnews, so you don't have to. Buckle up, it's gonna be a long night… [Read more…]

McCain Campaign Takes Strong Stance on Media Spinelessness

Specifically, they insist on it.

Yesterday CNN's Campbell Brown interviewed McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds. After commiserating over having ridiculous names, Brown did something nearly unheard of in modern political reporting — she actually tried to get Brown to answer the fucking question put to him — which in this case was about Sarah Palin's foreign policy experience. You can see the clip here. Watch the part where she tries to get him to specify what Palin does as Commander in Chief of the Alaska National Guard.

Of course, in this day and age to be a good reporter you're just supposed to sit there and take the talking-point bend-over from whatever blow-dried Mouth of Sauron your producer has dredged up. So apparently Brown's attempt to get a straight answer has caused offense, and the McCain campaign has canceled an appearance before the octogenarian fellator Larry King, saying that Brown's conduct was "over the line." And it's true, if the line is drawn between being a primped game-show-host and being a real damned journalist.

If Brown's terrier-like pursuit of Bounds was shocking, it was only because it is so rare. ALL the goddamn interviews should be like that, of both sides. (Believe me there are plenty of Obama happy-talkers who need to undergo Socratic questioning until they wet their non-exploitatively-cultivated hemp underdrawers.) CNN ought to drag some Obama flack on today and throw them into Brown's cage just to dispel the suggestion that the interview was biased. Reporters are not supposed to be spokesmodels.

Free Lawyer Advice: This Would Be An Excellent Opportunity to Shut Up

Say you're an office manager married to an Amtrak foreman and drive a 1993 car and live in an apartment in Queens, and somebody notices that (1) you've recently given $61,600 to McCain's campaign and the RNC, most of it days after McCain endorsed offshore drilling, and (2) the business you are an office manager for is Hess Corp., one of the country's top five oil companies, and your contributions during that period plus those of Hess execs and their wives and mothers and such exceed $315,000.

Would you like to guess what I, as a high-priced white collar criminal defense lawyer, would like to tell you to do when the press calls to ask whether or not you donated your own money?

I'll give you a hint. It starts with "shhhhh" and ends with "ut the fuck up, dipshit." You don't. give. a. statement.

I'm in the market for a eye-catching design that can rival the Nike swoosh to go with my revolutionary branding catchphrase, Just shut up.